breaking free

2008-04-20T07:35:00.000-07:00

MOVED MOVED MOVED

PIPOPIPOPIPIPO.LIVEJOURNAL.COM

2008-04-07T10:12:00.000-07:00

you're a song.
written by the hand of god.

so i went for a check up.
it sucks.
what blood cells?
who cares.
ill die.
then i die.
if not i live,
then i live.

life and death.
why worry?
screw the people that put so much tots to it.
it's been happening awhile now.
but yea.
nth serious to be hospitalise..
no cause for panic i guess.
but still blood tests all are bummers.

got first for amazing race that saturday.
it was really really fun.
des and the rest can afford to eat macs.
all i did was run for my team.
here and there.
KNN.
but we got first.
with 10sec trailing team of biswas and sherman at the back.
hahaha!

though we always talk rubbish,
keith can be a really good team mate(:

so soccer on sunday.
KNN.
so hot.
drew with the japanese team.
they elbowed my face lah.
KNN.
but lucky nthing wrong.
nearly scored lah.
but my striker instincts gone already.
too much defenders.
:(

then we thrashed des team 7-1.
the one goal we concealed is franks bloody fault.
still can believe i let that one go.
practically played everyone onside.
KNN.
waste time defending:(
i scored one anyway.
happy(:

she didnt msg.
i dunno why.
damn depressed.
waiting for her msg.

2008-04-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

sometimes i run.
sometimes i hide.

so this is EASTER.
and what have you done?
actually nothing much.
wanted to post pictures.
but yea.
sian.
lol.
must load so long.

3 more weeks.
and yes.
talk abt deep deep down down
deep down in my heart?

EASTER wasnt that great,
perhaps not that meaningful for me this year.
why?
dunno?
every year, i look forward to christmas.
and easter.
but this year?
i'm jus glad it's passing soon.
yes.
mayb i wasnt prep enuff.
mayb?
but yea.
no diff.
i miss the noise.
the laughter.
and many more.

friendships?
meaning?
how ot keep them?
should i?
worth it?
who knows.
we see.

so i fell.
wa kao.
scratches and all.
KNN.
moody lah.
went home,
iodine somemore.
££%$"%^"$%"
chicken.

man utds winning anyway.
tired.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz

2008-02-29T08:21:00.000-08:00

i guess it's time.
to give up.
i guess it's time.

got a picture of you beside me.
got your lipstick mark still on your coffee cup.
ohhh yeahhhh.

got a fist of pure emotion.
got a hand on shattered dreams.

gonna leave, gonna leave it all behind now.

whatever i said, whatever i did
i didnt mean it,
i jus want you back for good.

army in two months.
can lah.
hahah!

AUDI TT
her car.
am i starting to be a little too attached?
i dun want to.
why am i feeling so weird?

these few months,
like a little lifeless.
only work, sleep, soccer, go out with her during work time.
snores~!

my only highlight i guess was meeting eugene and the rest.
pool or whatever.
they gave me something to talk abt.

dun talk abt church lah.
so bloody dead.
now walk also walk past.
not walk thru.
why?
ask me huh?

pipo = hello!
new way of saying hi?
hahaha!
been nudging charmaine online for nothing.
hahaha!
pearlyn's cracking me up with her mean o answers.
other than that,
it's really boring.

now i finally have time to catch up with ppl,
they no time.
@!!#$@%#$!
what to do?

imagine me & you.
i do.
i think about you day & night.
it's only right.
to think about the girl you love.
and hold her tight. so happy together(:

2008-02-21T05:46:00.000-08:00

' i bless the day i found you '
i wanna be around you
and so i beg you
let it be me(:

so chinese new year came.
and chinese new year went.
this year like got no value in the new year leh?
why ah?
mayb cos i was more interested in gambling.
ahahhaha!

what happens if you're out with this guy, and you realised he's keeping a condom in his wallet.
@!$#%^%#$!$%
well, it was comical.
was out with KAT,
then ah, we were out in changi somewhere lah.
her usual hangout.
so this guy who works in the restaurant that have been noticing her.

first came the note with flowers.
then he approached us.
( apparently i was invisible. KNS!! )
then he talked to KAT.
so KAT was a little excited abt this MAT.
so they talked a little, while me, being a gentleman, excused myself. ahha!
well, i had something more interested ah. thats why i gave u my seat so easily.

when he took off his pounch, his wallet dropped.
he didnt know.
so i picked it up,
took a little peek.
i see a condom(:
at first i was amused.
so i msged KAT to have a little fun.

who knows,
she was rather annoyed.
' what am i? a whore? '
so she took her phone, ( apparently they exchanged numbers already. )
she changed her number.
asked him to buy a drink for her,
then she held my hand and dragged me off.

and we went sentosa.
no camera, nothing. i cant go in the sun,
so we went underwater world.
it was boring.
but fun(:
as in the surprised and ice cream all over the face(:

oh well,
i type crazily.
hahaha!

' But I cant spell it out for you '
No its never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

2008-01-25T19:51:00.000-08:00

WAKE ME UP!
wake me up inside.

BRING ME TO LIFE!

haha!
old song old song.
so work sucks.
i know.
nothing much to do.
and i not want or motivated to do SG river.

then there's SINGTEL.
they wanna challenge results.
snores~!
why do you challenge results?
arent results suppsoed to be final?
hahaha!
oh well.
see how they die lah.
haiz.

so i pretend, i'm doing all i can.
and i hope someday you find me in the end.

tired.
lazy.
to initiate.
to make the first move.
to smile.
to do anything.
damn useless.
super duper..

sucks.
bye bye.
hahaha!

2008-01-20T18:41:00.000-08:00

let it be me..
let it let it..
let it be me..

its the new year.
i still feel the same.
i feel sad for those who have nothing to do now.
are they contented just attending mass?
why wont eugene be engrossed in church.
perhaps now i see why.
it's always happening.
no matter where.
with me,
anyone.

words are sometimes poison i guess.
people will talk.
when they talk, people talk.
and so it goes.
been going on.
this years the same.

i wanna be MAD.
i wanna SCOLD.
i wanna go up to this person and say,
' make me like you please. '

then there is always this thinking.
if you dun like me, i dun care too.

why are people going to other groups?
then at this time, why are they judged with having no commitment?
they have gave some part of their lives to a cause that was doomed to fail.
if i'm like that how?
i wont say i'm that good.
but i'm pretty sure i did something.
i hope.

which GOD am i serving?
GOD of human emotions, or GOD of divine power.
why are we being subjected to mere commitment for the work of GOD?
i now wonder whether i'll get a pass if i ever get judged by him.

i wanna ask.
why a standard in doing god's work?
why do some people seem to be god themselves?
how will people listen? how will i listen?
how will i put myself down and listen?
when everything else i stood up for is now being risked.

this call.
i ask myself.
is it a call?
is this a test?
here i am lord,
is it me lord?
the call.
to what?

i must learn to work with these people.
i must.
i still wanna serve.
to do so i'll try.

' i have never said it'll be easy. but i assure you, it'll be worth it. '
i really hope so.
this thing inside me is crying to come out.
this demon.
everyone has one.
some have made it part of their lives.
this thing cant come out now.
no!

ok ok ok ok...
yes!
that was a small part of how i feel about church.
nothing much.
definately more than any church.

and ya. why is a church like that?
how i know?
dun ask me.

yes, it's my church.
but i'm no reporter.
i do listen yes.
i have a gift for knowing things yes.
but no.
i say things only when needed.
haiz.
which i really hope so..

So, it's like finally i can get it off my chest.
i wish i could keep everyone and do something more.
they're not taking this as a church anymore.
and i feel like slapping them.
then i realised, they're not there already.

please be better.
please be lenient.
we're still here.
do not bring us to the test.
please.

SHOUTOUT!
I"M STILL HERE!

2007-11-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

Now that it's all said and done,

I can't believe you were the one

To build me up and tear me down,

Like an old abandoned house.

What you said when you left

Just left me cold and out of breath.

I fell too far, was in way too deep.

Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.

I should've started running

A long, long time ago.

And I never thought I'd doubt you,

I'm better off without you

More than you, more than you know.

I'm slowly getting closure.

I guess it's really over.

I'm finally getting better.

And now I'm picking up the pieces.

I'm spending all of these years

Putting my heart back together.

'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,

I got over you.

why am i so dumb?

i should have been smarter than that.

how could i be faked?

now i dunno if the misses, or the loves are real..

are they?

why am i hearing from other ppl?

i tried to get the answers from you.

whya re you keeping quiet?

it sucks to know this from so many others.

and realised, i'm the only one kept in the dark:(

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

i shouldnt have caused myself this misery.

it sucks. sucks sucks.

TODAY,

ladies and gentleman..

IS THE WORSE DAY EVER...

drown myself in more harming hobbies..

I HOPE I LIVE FOREVER TO SUFFER THIS.......

2007-11-01T22:40:00.000-07:00

to my dearest,

it is strange to think..
i haven seen you in a month.

i have seen a new moon.
but not you.

i have seen sunsets and sunrises.
but nothing of your beautiful face.

the pieces of my broken heart is so small,
that they can be passed thru the eye of a needle.

and i write as though i died.

i miss you,
like the sun misses the flower.

like the sun misses the flower in the depths of winter.

instead of beauty to direct it's light to..
my heart hardens like the frozen world that you haven banished me to.

in the next place that i'll be.
i'll find it empty if you're not there.

hope guides me.
it is what guides me through the day
& especially through the night.

the hope that after you're gone from my sight,
it will not be the last time that i look upon you.

with all the love that i possessed,
i remain yours,
Me:)

2007-10-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

the urinals at the back

ok, i didnt meant that picture. but i cant help noticing it.
i walked the whole of orchard ok today?
so tiring:(
anyone wants free wireless, ORCHARD.
from TANGLIN MALL to MDIS, SMU there.
amazing eh?
i walked whole day.

the stairs to hell.

that lady in front.. pushed me and jus walked down.
that is jus rude.
haiz.
the stairs all looked misty.
could be hell downthere.

who is that i see?

the picture of myself is now blurred.
when will it be cleared?
i aint sure.
i feel cheated.
yet at the same time i dun wanna trouble.
i guess keeping my distance is all ican do.

whoooo is that girl i see..
staring straight, blank at me.

i wish i knew..

2007-10-30T06:01:00.000-07:00

stairway to heaven

if i reali believed in a stairway. lovely couple in front. cant believe it.

the showhouse.

teh one place that i want to bring her.
mud pies. food.i wonder if she likes?

marina at her lowest.

so i went marina to work. it was fun.
a place for flirting, with glances, stares and much more.
oli oli.. thats her name. the one that served me of course.

Oli Oli Oli

' so what is the best here? '
i didnt knwo what to order ok?
' honestly, i'm not sure.. why dun you jus try your luck? but most people order the hamburgers. '
yes.. like i came here to eat burgers.
' nvm, a fish and chips will do:) '
' alright.. will be back soon. '

i dunno what i did, but i saw her again hours later.
' hey waiter girl.. '
now, i could have jus killed my chance of talking to her again.
' hey internet boy? '
' oh oh, how did you know? '
so she explained she saw what i was doing. apparently she was looking at my work.

then i was all alone again. soi went window shopping.
saw a dress.. she's gonna look damn lovely in it.
but but, what can i do? what can i say?
i'm still so far from her.

i still dunno what happened that made us this way.
u haven told me.
and teh more i think, the more i suck.
then i light the night away.
in secret.

And some time ago
I lost my soul
To some forgotten dream and
How was I supposed to know
It wasn't what it seemed
And even though the last hello
Has left me on the floor
I don't believe in Juliets or heroines at all.

or do i?

2007-10-29T05:04:00.000-07:00

You take away my breath and my sense of time... it seems to stop when I'm with you..

It's amazing the things you realize when you lose someone:
you get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could've a million times,
you take for granted the days spent doing nothing when you could have been with them.

Anyone can be taken, at any time in our lives,
but we always wait until they're gone to say the things we never had the courage to before..

When the waves hit the shores over and over,
rolling and roaring,
to the immature eyes it seems like a fight or a battle.
But, the thunderous water shows how much it adores.
It tirelessly struggles to tell the land,
how much in love it is with the sands..

Remember, you can be in love,
but always be independent;
be your own person..

Life is like a gamble,
sometimes you win,
sometimes you lose.
But whatever cards in life,
whether club,
spade or diamond,
always remember,
never play with the heart..

If ever I see you smile and know that it is not for me,
that is when I will miss you the most..

My thoughts are free to go anywhere,
but it's surprising how often they head in your direction..

Why keep looking, if all I'm looking for has been found in you?

happy me =) not:(

all my life i've search for you.. all my days i long for you.. all the time i jus tot taht you were there for me..

Thoughs that carried me away today:)

2007-10-28T03:09:00.000-07:00

what am i supposed to do?
fake a smile?
pretend all that happens nv happen?
i could only take this much.

first i dunno what i did.
then i dunno how you feel.
i wasnt given a chance to have a say.
it was jus what you want.
then now, all i'm doing is makign sure i'm a complete jerk..

tell me what i should do..
tell me how i can do?
i'm guilty of missing a girl that is not mine.
i hope it's not a sin.

2007-10-26T09:05:00.000-07:00

i could have been a much better leader..
could have..
what have i done?
negative thoughts filled my mind when leading.
it's horrible trying to do thngs knowing that ppl were forced to give support.
what happened to free will?
i knoww i sucked. i admit. i suck even more trying my best..
but we have to look forward..

i'm looking for movtivation..
shes hasnt told me if she would..
msged her lah..
speaking is still difficult for me at the moment..
but i wouldnt mind..

tonight was better.. i swear...
but then i light up one to waste my life away..
as the tip burns, i see myself burn...
slowly slowy to ashes..
with one flick, i'm gone...

When I let you walk away tonight

Without a word

I try to sleep,

But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me

A thousand more regrets unraveling,

If you were here right now, I swear,

I'd tell you this

Baby I don't want to waste another day

Keeping it inside it's killing me

Cause all i ever want, it comes right down to you

I'm wishing I could find the words to say

Baby I would tell you every time you leave

I'm inconsolable

then i burned up:(

2007-10-25T19:25:00.001-07:00

the fanatic search for sanity

was staring at my contractor pass ytd.
like cool ah?
put it ard my neck, security officer greeting me:)
how uncool is that?
laughs~!

did i mention i got an ipod shuffle? from a radio show?
by singing the chorus of hotel carnifornia.
ok lah. it wasnt very good.
but i got it anyway.

again, i shall repeat, my mornings are terribly terrible.
i dun wanna think of her. ta, her.
' another one bites the dust. '

in office now.
chilling for awhile.
then off to orchard.
mayb i could find something exciting there.
haas!

till then:)

2007-10-24T01:59:00.000-07:00

the inability to cope.

today was a lil better.
not as good but.. better..
work reali kills off the cells of my brains.

i have work and it reali cuts me down.
piece by piece.
so the roadside uncle, played a damn nice song for me while i waited for the rain to stop.

' boy ah, you stand there affect my business leh? '
' huh? raining lah uncle.. let me stand awhile kkz? '
' u waiting very long already. come come sit down. '
' dun need ah. it's ok! '
strums his guitar!
' youre every line, youre every word, youre everything '
' uncle not bad ah? can teach me? '
haha! and i gave him $2

so while waiting, i stared at my shoes. 0_0||

got lost in my whole of ashley and olivia when i realised i stared too long.
darnit.
so she came late. so late.
yes i know i shouldnt take leave at all. was jus making plans to spend more time with her.
kinda regretted.
oh yes..
she came late.

' hey sorry i late. lunch my treat kz? '
' ok? where ah? '
' you decide? '
it has come to a point where the ppl treating lets you make the suggestion:)
' ok.. lets go thai:) '
' thai? hmm, dun want. we go for pasta kkz? '
there you are? my meaningless contribution.

then we talked abt everything else.
my phobia for soft toys and a few stuff is still there.
she laughs..
her nose still turns red in the morning.
i laugh..

then i called kaien,
it was evening already.
i told him that i need to prepare for tekong.
he laugh at me.
haha!
' dun act tough all lah. train? '
' eh, pl ask you properly leh? '
then i realised that my english KNS.
ahah!
so our conversation lasted like an hour.
so long!!

i'm tired now.
i have to keep myslef busy always.
so i wont rmb.
make it obvious for me please? i wanna be alive!

' candlelight and soul forever, a dream of me and you together, we can achieve it. we can believe it. '

2007-10-23T04:25:00.000-07:00

i'm heartbroken.
yes i am.
even so i haven wrote any stuff here.
when i decided i want to, it's bad:(

this morning was reali horrible.
mornings without her wishes is reali horrible.
she used to wake me up.
maake me start the day with a smile.
i wake up everyday hoping.
and got disappointed.

it was a fairytale few months.
i rmb when i had the accident, you called and we talked the whole night.
i rmb the kisses sneaked to our cheeks every now and then..
i rmb the lovely msg convo we had.
and to hear you after was even better.

now thinking back, i guess i have been reali horrible.
am i? you didnt tell me.
but you sure did took a piece of me away.

i believe if i could jus carry on this way till army, i may get over it.
if not, it'll be the shittest time i'll ever be in.
if i can survive by jus looking at you all this months,
i can get over you easy.
if...

you got over yours easy.
i can see.
or mayb jus to let me see.

lastly, my day was still lousy.
morning afternoon night..
even lying on my bed i think i hear my phone beep.

if i push the DEL button. will i be happy?

' is your heart filled with heart, shall i come back again. tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight '

2007-07-31T10:01:00.000-07:00

went ttsh today.
ok the nurse was acting punk with me.
i couldnt scan my card.
she has to purposely show me.
NAAAAAA---- BEIIIII

word of the day i supposed:)
thanks to FANN WONG!
ahahahah!

so was thinking of going home when LARI said she needed battery.
being kind as always.
ahahhah!
i went to her workplace of course:D
was thinking of skipping lunch.
but had her treat me instead:)
like so long lah! ah!
lunch was with SHABS too.

then we went town.
FAR EAST.
called keith a few times.
that GOON dunno got phone for what:(
but he did answer:)

PSP-$279
MEMORY CARD-$99
blah blah blah.
i promise MARCUS i'll lend him.
and i will hold my word.

worse. was suppsoed to go for the dinner at CAYC.

OVERSLEPT!
ahahahahaha!
had macs for dinner.
lovely.

PRACTISING SPELLS NOW!
YAY!

2007-07-29T10:13:00.000-07:00

so saturday was the day.
i was serving mass.
' MY FATHER IN HEAVEN '
how can we say MY FATHER?
it is nv ME & him..
ahahaha!

so i was making announcements.
i totally swear at the last announcement,
' so i need you guys to close your eyes a moment &
listen to this song. '
at the moment i said it, i wanted to sing.

under my umbrella, ella ella, a a a

AHAHHAHA!

so SUNDAY.
words are always lost.
we went SIZZLERs for dinner.
damn SHIOK siah.
soup, salad, MAIN COURSE, ICECREAM.
bloated ah. ahahhaha!

2007-07-23T09:20:00.000-07:00

if i could jus jump start my engine.

has an amazing exercise on sunday
damn tiring:(
then asked SHABIN for dinner
so ME, SHABS, LARI went civic,
the thai whatever place.
it was alright:)

then we went to watch movie:)
not bad la.
i mixed up all the names:(

today i went ttsh
then met LARI for lunch.
MOS BURGER.
then went back ttsh.
then went home.
then sleep.
then wake up.
dinner.
play XBOX 360.
watch JEANETTE AW.
last episode.
then went online.
chatting with LESLIE.

now, i cant sleep.
hahha!
dreams have been too often.
sobs.
cant wait for road trip:)

2007-07-09T10:41:00.000-07:00

so apparently i told myself.
NO MORE!
shit.
i SCREWED myself.

when i close these eyes.
i hope nv to open them again.
shit!
i LIED!

so after all the years.
NOTHING is KNOWN.
i feel damn lousy.
stupid.
dead in your eyes.

now it's nearing me leaving.
why me? they asked.
so i can be someone else.

they think i like to meddle in your affairs.
you think i hold my airs high.
you think that this F-ING world goes around your feet.

i dun want all of this.
i dun want this shit!
in fact, i'm sick of it.
i'm not running away.
it's jus time for me.

R.I.P
so i hope.
imagine a tombstone with my name.
i had.
it wasnt nice.
it was peaceful.

FUNERALS are nice.
ppl rmb only the good things!

all i wanted was to be more of me to you.
all you could have done was to acknowledge it.
all that was done was nothing.

i hope you're happy now.
reali.

THOSE WERE TOTS B4.

NOW!

i'm happy abt you.
not that you that you think you are,
jus you.

someone jus assured me.
no matter what.
she'l be here.
then there was another.
then another.

NOW!
what do we see?
a wall blocking our view.
you could nv be her.
i could nv be him.
we are them.

i'm BLIND.
HELP!

2007-07-09T07:30:00.000-07:00

so, i left my match as fast as i could.
totally forget that have to meet FATHER for dinner.
so he waited for 45 mins. :(
EUGENE accompanied him though.
PHEW!

so we went seoul garden.
oh man! the amount of food!
help help help!
we boiled, fried, drank.
whoever said korean BBQ wouldnt be fun.

' so father, of all things, why priest? '
it's not like i have the calling or anything.
jus curious i supposed.
' cos i want to be closer to god! '
reali meh?
' cos i was dumped by my GF so i got no choice '
HAHAHA!

we had ICE CREAM at the last part.
then we went for DIE HARD 4.0
with VALERIE & her MOM.

i give the movie a 4/10.
so MEGAN FOX. no TRANSFORMING.
so i mentioned FATHER IS GAY!
he says MEGAN FOX IS NOT HOT!
guess a priest have to be like one eh?
HAHAHAHAHA!

so i cant get what this means..
i F-ing look like JESSICA SIMPSON.
hahahaha!

so i got tempted. and tried more! laughs~!
take a look! hahahaha!

ahahhaha! my goodness!
now you see, MY DEAR LESLIE!
you cannot escape from the JOKES WE PLAY!
hahahaha! that NERD look the closest to you man! hahaha!
now, i wanna try more but i jus cant seem to get some loaded. HAHAHA!

2007-07-06T08:19:00.000-07:00

you came into our lives
changed it very much
lighten every heart.

the memories you leave
can nv be explained
as well as we want to.

if anybody could be the same as you,
i'll give the world, to him.
if i should ever write a book
i'll start from the day,
we met, as friends.

the chapters in our lives,
come and go like wind,
it isnt like a breeze.

but for you i'll write a song,
the tears, the smiles the dreams,
that we had all been through.

if anybody could be the same as you,
i'll give the world, to him.
if i should ever write a book
i'll start from the day,
we met, as friends.

so we said goodbye.
mafia, black, boy.
the names you had.
it's reali amazing how you came into sacristy when you're PRIMARY 5,
and made your imapct on our lives.
sure you had your scoldings.
you had your difficulties.
you did have your fun too.

i did make a promise to you.
' b4 you leave, i'll make sure i'll bring you places '

(1) NEW YORK NEW YORK
remember the 8-inch burger. at the end we have to see who finishes it.
what about the candle floss that we wait half hour for?
which makes me remember some idiot that eat candy floss in a weird way.
how we promised to go lan with you but didnt. HAHA!
(2) FISH & CO
the fish, sotong, drink! whoops.
the company.
oh man! but journey home was horriblle.
cos of school:(
(3) AJISEN RAMEN
ahhh, RAMEN! step naruto only.
hahaha! we had fun looking at the menus.
talking ab NARUTO. rushing to church for mass! haha!
(4) TIM SUM BUFFET
hahahaha! this was good! the only black in the whole restaurent.
the way the aunite stared at you was CLASSIC. haha!
(5) PEPPER LUNCH
must cook my own food hhuh?
what kinda shop is this?
oh man!
you did enjoy it kkz?
FOOL!
(6) SWENSENS'
need i say? you jus SUCK!
swensens know?
SWENSENS! like how many earthquakes have i had?

i cant think of anymore. and this list seem pathetic. :(
but then we have toys'R'us.
AHAHAHAH!
war with shabs. table soccer with them. starbucks.
wooooo!
shopping with you. running ard the whole singapore to ind one bloody JACKET!
wooooo!
the company for my lonely and early appointments!
woooo!
THANK YOU MAN! hope you like my song!

LOVE YOU DUDE!

2007-07-02T23:21:00.000-07:00

this was the nearest that i could get to.
HARRY KEWELL.
damn i'm like so gay!
nvm that. he rocks, he scored.

tickets : $ 9
transport : $ 5
snacks : $ 7 (the drinks were ex!)
seeing HARRY score & re-remembering our GOLD medals : PRICELESS!!

if only i had a rope. i would have ran down! humph!

2007-06-28T10:34:00.000-07:00

it's so difficult to let go.
memories. past. mistakes.
i've done my own will.
PAY BACK TIME!
he shouted!

will i cry when i go down?
will i feel emotional?
it's definately a big void to fill.
i wish i could jus say YES!

she lingers onto my brain.
eating away all the scrapes i save for another.
she feeds on my emptiness.
nv knowing what closure means.
here i am, tortured.
there she is making melodies.

who can read me.
i hope not her.
her tots make me whine.
and come back for more.
i need someone.
sweet. nice. caring.
who has shoulder to spare.

then the night came.
for me to go away.
will i ever have the courage?
to say YES?

I'm bleeding inside.
and no one knows why.
she knows.
but she didnt care why.

DEAD!

2007-06-23T10:18:00.001-07:00

Out in the fields with GOD

the little cares the fretted me
i lost them yesterday
among the fields, above the sea,
among the winds at play,
among the lowing of herds,
the rustling of trees,
among the singing of birds,
the humming of bees.

the foolish fears of what might happen,
i cast them all away.
among the clover-scented grass,
among the new-mown hay,
among the husking of corn,
where drowsy poppies nod,
where ill thoughts die -
and good are born--
out in the fields with god.

i LOVE her:)

2007-06-20T11:40:00.000-07:00

"A Lonely September"

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

[Chorus]
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas time with you
will just kill me if I'm on my own

[Chorus]
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back

I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight
One more chance tonight

I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove

[Chorus]
Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

And I didn't mean to meet you then
we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you chills
the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did
No, you didn't mean to love me back
But you did

2007-05-14T10:08:00.000-07:00

i want my hands held.
i want to feel your kiss.
i want to feel the breeze.
your hands.
you hug.
your love.

all i felt was a void.
nothing that i can ever hold on.
no love.
no conversations.
no relationship.

then i was gone.
not even knowing my name.
not knowing your name.
no chance to kneel and pray.
no chance to know my friends.

do i deserve this?
was i naughty?
did i fail my exams?
what did i do?

i was denied a fair trial.
a chance to prove my innocence.
a chance to defend myself.
what is justice?
i dont know.
what about police?
army?
no one helped.
not even this guy who could have HELPED!

this guy was me! i was this babys last line of defense. LAST LINE. it was like i'm a judge. mayb more, a policeman, someone that uphold justice? but then what did i do? as a catholic? as a MORALLY educated person?

yes i'm talking abt abortions. am i wrong to talk abt it? why is abortions allowed? why is that legal abortions? why? i think it should be banned. not because of what i think. but because, a life is a life. it's not a toy. and we are not god to judge who lives who dies.

DOCTORS who do abortions are worse. they KILL. mothers who go ahead with it are not meant to live in the first place. a child's home is where the mother is. a mother should have the responsiblitly to know the rights and wrongs. BUT..

now it's people like me! people who HECK CARE! who jus because of certain issues, let a baby die! i am a catholic.. but was i doing a job? was i spreading love? NO! i chose to ignore this two girls that approached me abt abortions and waved them off.

but some child gives a hard time. you will die if you dun abort.. difficult decision? well, the mother will know.

IS MY LIFE WORTH MORE THAN YOURS?

2007-03-27T10:26:00.000-07:00

amazingly, so many things happened.
but i jus didnt feel anything is worth blogging.

sorry guys if i went ard showing i dun care.
or i have shown ignorance of many things.
if i acted like nothing happened, i'm so sorry too.
mayb it's cos i didnt want to trouble you guys worrying for me?
sorry again.

oh oh, raymond's going in soon. damn!
and it's jus me and joel now.
SHIT! can i get an letter and go in now please?

there is someone now. laughs!
she's from long ago.
and she's still waiting.
should i leave or should i go?
do i make her wait worthwhile?
advise advise.
i think i should continue to face rejection so.
haha!

thailand! ELEPHANTS! whao!
sit on them i shall.
i wanna eat worms too. fried ones.
cos emily's & trecia's house one very gross.
so i wan to eat ont he spot kinda worms..
NOT!

2007-03-09T09:59:00.000-08:00

so... i jus had a mental breakdown..
i cried...
my whole heart out..
sobbing out a river...
to the extent that my parents can hear me...

i intend to pick myself from this..
shoot me for having no faith..
curse me for being insensitive..
i jus cant see myself fufilling potentials seen in others..
for the one time..
i cant see myself commanding the youth..
i cant see myself doing anything ppl expect me..
my parents, FATHER, the youths, uncle kenny..
even i have doubts in my servers..

as i go along..
encouragements come and go..
prayers drive me thru..
but what am i seeking?
what if i fail?
what if i make you lose faith in me..
what if i jus go?

i see encouragements..
ppl telling me, 'you can do it'
are you helping me to do it?
or are you jus plainly saying?
i see encourage in little things..
ppl pushing themselves to work..
my sister doing her best to sleep early and wake up early..
raymond for being early for once..
i try to give myself the same thing..
failing too much...

mayb i cant handle the pressure..
or mayb i jus suck..
but i'm not gaining your pity trust me..
i need your prayers...

sadly!

2007-03-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

i'm so sorry for my recent outburst.
if i did offend anyof you. i apologise from my heart.
but some things jus have to be said.
so please bear with my shout outs while i bear yours.
so sorry ppl.

2007-03-04T04:09:00.000-08:00

listen up for once.
cos i'm really getting irritated with many ppl.
what is passion play?
passion play is to have the passion.
the passion to give a 100% performance.
the passion to give your best.
why do ppl keep asking ppl who cannot give thier 100% to join?

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?
some of you understand. but some of you are jus freaking ( blank! )
i mean yes. you're doing your best. you like to act. your passion is being watched.
but that doesnt mean everyone likes what you like?
it doesnt mean everyone have the same interest as you.
it doesnt mean that i am you.
i'm not being mad, but i'm not happy either. ppl who have comments abt others.
would you like to see me giving only 20% and a half past six kinda attitude for the play? or would you rather someone who can give a 100%.
what is the use of saying ppl like to ignore the play and be on their own, caring abt their own stuff.

jus cos servers have the most guys it doesnt mean the servers are damn good actors who can volunteer for everything.
talents are everywhere. not jus in this group. mayb for once we can not complain abt the lack of ppl but focus on he strengths of the 100% actors?

so.. please stop complaining. stop doing all your nonsense talking rubbish.

it is time for encouragement.. encourage ppl to join. encourage them to give their all. when was the last time you gave encouragements? do that, do it now. lent will be more meaningful. so does PASSION PLAY 2007!

2007-02-25T10:25:00.000-08:00

In the myriads of events and occasions lined along the preordained, we plan and try to cater to the interests of everyone. But the reality of things seldom falls into the sphere of expectations. Along the chain of commands, we have been compelled to satisfy the majority. As much as we want to fulfill our job, the propagation of influence and fickle mindedness of humanity has always been a challenge…

Change is what makes us come up with decisions, and what we decided upon is eventually the best that we thought would be for everyone. Be it a simple dinner or a grand masquerade, everyone would want their efforts to be recognized in a way or two. And that recognition is what I would derive as job satisfaction… Participation and enthusiasm are the reflections of content among the people we work for, but at times this may not be the case…

The conflict of interests is never a detrimental factor, but a promulgation of ideas which eventually leads to the end result. And the end result is never a fairy tale of expectations being fulfilled, but a slap on our face about the harshness of reality, and a lesson about the different facets of management. Especially in the case of people management…

2007-02-25T10:21:00.000-08:00

When I hold her I experience warmth, when I smell her I smell hope, when I touch her I felt happiness… It’s been so long since I experience such sensations, so long I seem to forget what they are called, but she reminds me of them once more. Time and again, she has broken my heart but somehow, my love for her just keeps rekindling… I wondered if she felt the same…

After we broke up I have been searching all the while for someone who could interest me in so many levels, I tried to find someone that looks like her or even has the same hobbies as her. But through the evanescence of time, such an expectation began to distant and eventually it becomes more of a reverie. It is then I finally realize there could never be someone identical in this world…

Just as desolation engulfs me, she came back into my world once again at the most unexpected moments. She gave me hope, only to crush it in the end…

Now she’s holding that candle of hope in front of me again, and I began to fear that this light will die out once more…

I began to fear that what I expect will not become what I want, and that I will lose her to some other guy again…

When was the last time I was sliced by a fear that is so deep and heavy like the sea? I forgot, maybe it is during the time when I finally fell in love with someone, again…

2007-02-18T08:27:00.000-08:00

Could be your eyes, could be your smile. 
Could be the way you freed my mind.

Your precious touch caressed my soul. 
You gave me everything I need, and know I'll lost. 
Lost forever.

Lost forever, and you said this is going nowhere, girl. 
And you said I turned my back on. 
You said I'll not the only one for you.

Please give me one more try for the sake of our love
Let's give it one more chance coz I can't give you up.
I can't live one more day without you in my arms
I could never find another like you.

Could be the lies, could be my pride. 
Could be the days and nights so wild. 

Could be the times I wasn't there. 
And all the nights we didn't share, and now you've lost. 
Lost forever

I can't sleep, I can't live without you by my side. 
So cold, so lost without as my guide. 
You made me realise I've nothing, nothing without you.

Baby give me one last try

2007-02-12T00:08:00.000-08:00

Do you have someone precious to protect?
because he had something precious to protect.
that is how he became truly strong.
yet we dun feel anything.
still he was strong.
strong enough to pick up the cross,
and watch the world as he fades away.
knowing that we are precious.
we are something worth dying for.
can we die for him?
debts that cannot be repaid.
can we say, we are strong?

2007-02-06T11:39:00.000-08:00

The one thing that i'm proudest in my whole life is that you are happy with me.
Even if i couldnt tell you that i was unhappy sometimes.
It was because i didnt want to risk hurting the one person i treasure most.

i'm ashamed of wanting to be happier.

and when i figured telling you would be better, i've already messed it up.
i'm so sorry.
that i cant make you happier.
or even make myself happier.

&
you can sing me anything.
cos i'll ive the world to lie with you.
&
i ought to give you wedding rings. (-:

why am i talking about random things?
mayb i need a reality check.
somethings jus get worse.
hahaha! and i cannot make it better.

tears fall, rain fall.
we fall, they fall.
air exist, wind thrives.
breathe in, cells dies.
magical stars shine, before they die.
shooting stars make thier last trip.
before disappearing for eternity.
when we use the oxygen in the air.
what does it do?

now i'm being totally weird and all.
but yes. i dun like seeing stars in the sky now.
cos i know, after a while, they die!
a night sky filled with million stars.
means death of a million stars.
DUST! ):

2007-02-05T09:16:00.000-08:00

i am pissed.
of what?
not some random thing.
i'm pissed cos i always try so hard.
pissed because i dun see results.
pissed because not everything is working out.

my own objective this year for my ROLES!
to make sure our youths are closer than anytime before.
it isnt working out so far.
it's the second MONTH!
i want us to grow.
in numbers, in faith, in trust.
not diminish.

i'm sad some ppl think of leaving.
i'm annoyed some leave and take ppl along.
i'm pissed some leave and nv say bye.
but i'm happy cos the rest chose to stay.

i have visions.
aims.
targets.
dreams.
that not everyone dare to have.

i want ppl in SEA to know us?
( like that will happen? )
i want ppl in the states to know us.
i want the world to know us.
and they say, if you dream, go with all my heart.
yes.
i'm doing that.
but anyone lending me a hand?

we have talents.
skills.
we can sing.
play.
shout.
draw.
act.
but we jus merge our talents.

i think it's time to stop thinking abt commitment.
cos it has nv crossed my mind for the past 10 years.
and i dun think i should make it an issue for myself.
well, i cant leave the servers even if i want to.
( i'll be a sunday catholic too easily.)
i have so much more to give.
and i want to contribute.

i'm happy with the ppl i work with.
youths, adults alike.
and i talk abt you.
i assumed many things.
but i always try to make it better.
which bring me to paragraph one.
( read first paragraph. )
hell yeah.

phew!
it feels good.
to vent my frustration.
not on ppl.
but on you my dear blog.
hahahha!
it feels good.
to speak my mind.
no matter how hard it is to try.
it feels good.
to sing a little song.
ahahhaa!
damn i'm smiling now.
GRINS~!

i dunno if i've taken this special interest in this someone.
the phones jus keep ringing.
and i feel sorry.
ahhahaha!
mayb it's for a short period?
mayb it wont last long.
it's a long time since that feeling came.
the yearning of someone's voice.
BLEH!

YOU NV SEE LOVE IN HIM/HER.
COS YOU PICK ON HIS/HER FAULTS.
YOU NV SEE THE GOOD THINGS YOUR ENEMY DOES.
COS YOU REMEMBER THE BAD THINGS HE/SHE DOES.
SO YOU'LL NV SEE LOVE IN ME.
BECAUSE.

YOU NV LOOK BEYOND THE CROSS.

i wonder which guy came up with that?
though it's kinda weird trying to read it?
somethings telling me it makes sense.
HAAAS!

TO INFINITY & BEYOND!

2007-02-05T07:12:00.000-08:00

so we have a scary castle. to add on, we have a face at the window. this is the best tour you can ever have. believe it or not.

amazingly, this came unnoticed by anyone. the house is still intact but the GHOST? hmmm!

The obvious image is on the left side above the fallen tree. Double exposure?

does this remind you of silent hill. oh man! scary. why is it always churches?

One of the leading theories concerning what orbs are and the one that I lean towards the most is that they are not the spirit at all. The orb is the energy being transferred from a source (i.e. powerlines, heat energy, batteries, people, etc) to the spirit so they can manifest. This may not even be a conscious thing the spirit is doing, just a natural way they get their energy. This would explain why the orbs are round balls. According to the laws of Physics energy being transferring like that would assume is natural shape of a sphere. This theory can also be tied into the EMF readings we get during spirit activity.

I always approach things with a bit of skepticism, so when I saw all these websites start showing off these photos as ghosts, I was just as weary as most of you. I just had to try it for myself.

think this is jus a random picture? take a look at the top left?
( creepy! )

ah! you can ask me. why is the entry suddenly ghost.
not sure why. jus thought of it. thought of after death's life? haas!
like how ghosts are called to different places to haunt.
like us being called to do many things.
but we started something, we shouldnt stop.
god didnt say it was easy to hold two roles.
but i'm pretty sure he said it will be worth it.
that is the only thing that is driving me on.
of course. i cant do it alone.

we all serve one god yes? but are we sure of the of serving him in the e way we are doing?
i dunno how i can serve him better.
but my two roles dun make me a better man.
nor does it make me a little man.
it jus gives me an chance to show my worth and make sure things work out for everyone.

i believe it's nv I who serve god. it's nv ME that praise him.
so why are we deciding to praise him in different ways due to what we like?
after 10 years? will you still be therE?
i didnt see myself in the servers last 10 years ago?
i'm serving a PROUD 12 years! ( yay! )
i should get a milestone.
nah! that will be I ME MYSELF already.

i should learn to be less self-centered.
less judgemental.
less biased.
more attentive to ppl.
especially ppl i try not to like.
i shall do all that.
mayb?

ahahahhahaha!

try la.
yes?
i feel some sort of calling.
asking me to do something.
we will see bah?
i might master the art of disappearing soon.

2007-01-30T12:33:00.000-08:00

she can be my model anytime.
please say yes?
~drools~

how to defend yourself against a walking stick!
hmmm!

what memories can i ask for?

i cant help but smile. or should i?

apparently, there was nothing much to do.

nv in my life had i a choice to make till today. everythign was laid out nicely.
mayb now it starts to haunt me.
the fact that no one can do stuff.
bugs me like much.
the tech brain of mine isnt smooth.
i guess i got to go the long way.
not that i have a choice now.

LIFE IS NOT A BOX OF CHOCOLATES.
SOMETIMES IT'S ALL BITTER!

now you can call me emo?
grins~!
another worthless tag.
to kill off the maths fever.

2007-01-29T06:08:00.000-08:00

there're a few pictures i fell in love with already.
a few i might wanna burn.
a few imight jus wan to bury now.
a few i wanna tear.

so i'm preparing myself to lose a friend.
not to something better.
but something stupid.
but why am i preparing?
i dun think i can ever lag behind anymore.
i dun want to leave anyone behind. but i guess the choice is not mine.

i was cursed with a longer left leg.
2.3cm longer at the hip..
another 2cm at the ankle..
so how do i play soccer?
do i jus run and cross?
should i push myself more then?

it's funny i have a blog yet i'm afraid of saying some stuff?
i jus had a double crossing friend in SP.
we were supposed to do the retest together?
he told the lecturer i cant make it and pushed it earlier?
and jus that his conduct is better than mine, that scumforlabitch decided that his words carried more weight.
damn i'm screwed.
badly.

then i have another prob.
she's pregnant? or jus fat?
she wouldnt tell me.
she jus dun dare to look at me.
she is scared cos she disappointed me?
all the words of not clubbing till late without a guy friend.
dun it rubbed in now?
what can i do?

CHURCH CHURCH CHURCH!
how? cells die cos of planning. worse come to worse, i'm losing my ability.
whatever's happening isnt giving me any motivation.
i cannot run this thing alone.
nor can i plan everything alone.
but i cant give everything i can either.
what should i do?
doesnt anyone know that it's so difficult trying to be a BROTHER, FRIEND, SOMEONE SPECIAL, and a LEADER at the sam time?
i wan to run, run run, run run run.
but i'm not irresponsible.

Certain situations, I’m not equipped to handle myself

Well even sometimes I, could use some divine help

Now I can go and handle things in my old way

But are they right for you Lord, and do they show Your grace?

Show me Your way, the way to do things, that glorify Your name

Jesus, show me Your way, open my eyes and show me Your way.

All my life I’ve done everything, according to my will

Never quite understanding, why it‘d leave me unfulfilled

So I ask you Jesus, so many times You’ve seen me fall

Wont’cha help me turn the other cheek when my back’s up against the wall

2007-01-13T09:26:00.000-08:00

alot of hot girls are adding me in msn!
NOT!
i dunno them la.
they know me.
i wonder!
hmmm!

so ERIC CLAPTON's tix was sold and $400!
adding another $20 cos that idiot came late.
so i missed mass. had crab bee hoon.
YUMMY!

went cwp. wanted to drop by someone's house and sneak in.
but it was impossible. laughs~!
watched spirit of the VICTIM.
kaoz! scary to the balls.
I SCREAMED!

tmr match but so late i still online.
mayb playing maple. but see how.
tiring la.
will update on score kk?

MONDAY going back training.
hopefully i can get back.
then like BECKHAM.
sponsors will come le.
YAY!

2007-01-04T08:21:00.000-08:00

all my life, i prayed for someone like you.
ok so i met with an accident.
it was kinda scary.
losing control of a vehicle this way?
haha!
in fact i could have joined motocross?
could have lah!

so had bruises and all.
not much to report.
jus that i was too crazy.
not that i wanted to ride.
jus that i wanted to take picture with it eh?
then it took off.
help!

now now. how to go home with bandages?
so didnt go home yet lah?
spend so much money on xray and doctor.
F-ing $80.
docs are killing the innocent.
damnit.

now i jus have to figure out how much the bike will cost.
hopefully not much.
hopefully eh?
haaas!

whispers!

i'm so sorry i didnt sought your help and talked to you abt this.
i neglected you these few days.
it's bad right?
please be understanding eh?
i didnt mean to hurt myself.
didnt mean to ignore.
didnt mean to not speak to you.
help me get thru this alright?
i love you always.

JESUS!

NERD

2007-01-01T09:07:00.000-08:00

either MAN UTD is making a fool outta me.
if not singapore pools reali cheating me.
or mayb silvestre has to get killed.

so i wasted $20 on MAN UTD matches.
3-0 i betted on man utd beating wigan 3-0.
it came 3-1 ( at 90++ mins )
nvm. so i bet the next match, 3-1 then.
it came 3-2 (again at 90++ mins )

tell me tell me.
am i being a fool?

speaking of fool.
mayb it's time we move on?
moving on is difficult.
we all have to move on eh?

i have to forget that i ever liked you.
i have to forget that i once quarrel with you.
i have to know the limits to my patience.
seriously.

i'm always the fool in this game of two.
all the late meetings.
all the plans going crazy.
the inablilty to go far isnt what i expected.

so going thru so many things isnt bad. it isnt right either.
i want something that only you can give. affection? understanding?
when you go in depth, it's much more than jus sending msges, going out on dates. much more than saying i love you.

like that i sure die. haha!
moving on.
YEAR 2007.
new responsibility.
and FATHER isnt helping much.
we'll see how la.

NERD

2006-12-27T06:41:00.000-08:00

hmmmm!
so xmas was spent at home.
i was stuck with food poisoning.
what was i to do?
go out and eat more turkey?
i'm happy it all ended.
though now the after effects suck big time.

so xmas isnt as exciting as last year. or the year before.
but this year's xmas is not all abt excitement i think.
think abt it.
how fortunate we are.
to have turkey, ham.
i know i suck at moving people.
but look!
xmas is not all about throwing praises for someone.
it's not about trying to bury a hatchet you had throughout the year.
it's definately not a time to say ' i'm so glad i've known you '

i find this years xmas a diff one.
for me, it's a time to catch up.
it's a time to find a new friend in your friend.
it's a time to help people ard who needs it more.
it's a time to be different.

i may be cursed for saying all this.
but well, haha! who isnt cursed?
for one thing i know,
i regretted not making sure joel know my xmas wish for him.
i dun get big presents for him.
i jsu wan him to know that he is my very road.
raymond myself isnt complete without. (sounds mushy now)
but then again. i know he knows.

so be different this xmas.
instead of jus visiting houses and saying merry xmas?
why not visit them and say, god bless you and your house. peace of our lord be with you?
instead of getting presents, why not ask if anyone needs any help for anything?
the best gift is your heart. nothing is more valuable.

for the slow people.
this is like getting roses on valentines day.
and giving it to total strangers on the streets.
savy? cool? hell no many will say!

oh well, i thank you for my xmas. for my presents. i offer whatever i can give to you.
my life, strength, hope!
make me do your will.

NERD

she says

you are such a liar!

he replies

it's a gift!

2006-12-15T10:38:00.000-08:00

a special entry for special ppl?
not that those i miss out are not special la.
jus that.. nvm!

SISTER- apparently, we seldom quarrel nowadays. i dunno why? i know we use to argue alot. i miss you when you're not ard. YOU MEAN HAPPINESS TO ME.

MANDA- how can i argue the fact taht you have grown to a fine young GIRL? from young till now. we have always been close. malaysia and all? lol. what can i say? " FLY ME TO THE MOON "

JEREMY- you taught me that life shouldnt be perfect. seriously, you will nv know how. mayb someday you'll undertsand too? and we shall both reap the rewards. THANK YOU! for being my friend.

ANTHONY- i remembered! you once said! " when will i ever let you down? " from then on. i couldnt much agree. i'm reali happy that you have accepted me as your leader back then. like i said, " no one will ever understand us! "
i'm glad we're HOLDING ON!

LARRIS- you will nv know how much heartache you put me thru. to make sure you do things right? to get you back. to make sure that your outside commitment doesnt take up too much. but you know, you taught me to be patient too. cos in the long run, you eventually amazed me. (with a lil pushing though) my life will be at lost without you. cos i'll be out of weird antics.
YOU WERE THE INSPIRATION THAT I MOST NEEDED.

BISWAS- your jokes stays vivid in my mind. and i'm reali glad you trust me more now. not forgetting the times i covered your butt. but well, you nv fail to bring JOY to my life. your laughter. your wrong sense of saying things. and of course. you as yourself.
YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE.

DESMOND- you taught my sister rubbish. and i'm happy for it. we have known each other too long already. from friends. to HATE BUDDIES. too brothers. what can i say? your laughter makes me laugh too. thank you for correcting all my mistakes!
LIFE ISNT A KICK WITHOUT YOU IN IT.

KEITH- write a boring testi for you? haha! hey, chill man. try to understand. we all want you as a JOKE! grins~! haha! you were there most of teh time for me. secretly for surely. all the times i needed help. you nv fail to impress me.stay this way. and you'll be much more complete than now. thanks for always being there.
NO ONE CAN TELL ME ABT YOU. I KNOW YOU.

AMIRSH- you have always been cheerful. even though i'm moody you always make me smile. when you first joined us. you fit right in. and that is reali amazing. i mean for someone to not know you that well, i feel at ease talking to you.
YOU GIVE ME CONFIDENCE.

EMMANUEL- many things have happen. but i assure you. it's all worth it. after all, we started serving from young. and ever since, we have been doing that. let's not forget the ideas you contributed to me. your sharings. i'm glad to have your trust.
LIVE WITH ONLY THE FEAR OF GOD.

RAYMOND JOEL- they all say good things come to and end. we started young. waited for each other to catch up. now, we are like watching ppl grow up. amazingly, we still see each other. we can say now. we are brothers. yes arh? lol. to our future together wherever we may be. christmas, neway will nv be the same without you guys. and this year i know, the first time all three of us didnt spend it together. so remember this day kkz?

EVONNE- spelt this way right? well, i jus know you only. what to do? but you sure is talkative. online only la! haha! you taught me many things. like how someone will feel? scared? shy? and i'm reali sad that i cant contribute anything to you. hope we have many christmasses to come.

KIMMY- haha! your one two words sentences can kill me. but haha! i cant get enuff of it. i think though i known you only like? 2 months? it must have been like 8 years or something. cos i saw you as a BABY b4. i'm older mahz? haha! thank you for being my company. sorry to keep you up so late all the time.

CHARLES- hahaha! you cant sing. you cant dance. what are you on earth for? well, you are here to give light to ppl's live. cso you lighted up mine unknowingly. be it rain or shine, you nv fail to help me. and i'm reali sad i can nv be like you. i'm no light or star. but you treat me like a SUN. thank you so much.

LAURIE- how do i live without you? you were the only one there when no one's ard. your words bring alot of comfort and wisdom for me. everytime i chat with ya, i sit and and think. and everything falls into place. i'm also sad i couldnt be much of the guy you expect me to be. but i'm glad you're my friend.

JILL- oh yes! we quarrel. we draw swords. we stabbed. but it came out real well. very in fact.the fact that sometimes i go to church looking forward to met you tells all. NO LIES. sorry for al the past hurts i put you thru. and thank you for all the lessons you taught me in life. DAJIE!

JUSTINA- not reali the best way to see your name online. but hahaha! we went for one date. and this is jus this year. i'm supposed to know you for like? since primary school? but i'm gald we made a lil effort. hahah! thank you for the advices on baking cooking and so many other stuff. hahaha! LOVE YOU FOR THAT!

For this and all the names that i haven mentioned. stay cool! it's coming soon. i think!

that's the spirit.
one part brave & three parts FOOL.

this is amanda woods.
she thought she had everything.
until one day.
she lost LOVE.

an advertisment interuppted.

2006-12-15T09:00:00.000-08:00

today was reali good.
i didnt have a good sleep.
but i SLEPT!
it was at KEITH's place anyway.

went to school.
saw mr SEETOH.
did his HMWK.
went out with FLO.
she buy sports BRA.
i find alternative.
(damnit)

went home!
wash clothes again!
hang them up.
then STEAMED CRAB!
EAT CRAB.
then sleep.

phone alarm keep ringing.
keith called.
i slept on.
godma called.
i slept on.
finally 1715hrs.
i woke up.
got ready for church.
took cab down.

serve mass.
many many ppl.
church too small.
nothing much to do either.

tmr going to see guitar.
buying one for JUSTINA. (present?)
finding an electric guitar for myself too.
but i want a 12 string.

parents coming back sunday.
i can hardly wait.
cos it's GOOD!
it gets lively again.
i feel less tormented.
very much less.

there are many things that money cant buy.
but for everything else,
there is MY WALLET.

an advestisement interupted.

2006-12-14T07:44:00.000-08:00

one day gone.
i haven had an ounce of sleep.
from yesterday till today.
mayb even tmr.
what is the problem?

the headaches ached on.
the dust not settled.
yet another pile of clothes lay still.
i totally feel it.

the strain of putting out clothes.
washing them.
folding.
the clean floors i always grace upon.
it's madness trying to make it look liek how my mom does it.
i jus look ard after everything.
the head still hurts.

i try sourcing for an alternative.
swimming? bbq? soccer?
all didnt help!
i even skipped training today.
must have been a bad boy.

almighty,
i pray for peace.
put me at peace.
take my worrys.
but if it is your will.
let your will be done.
so i can learn my lesson.

2006-12-13T07:17:00.000-08:00

it's official.

i cannot stand the silence.

the emptiness.

i took for granted the times i return home to something.

and now, the feeling of being alone isnt reali nice.

i feel like crying.

jumping off a building to get this off me.

i cannot cry out.

there isnt someone to hold me.

the tv sounds fainted.

it makes me so dead.

i'm jus here by myself.

wishing everything will go away.

so bring back.

i didnt ask for it.

but ti came back.

the memories.

of being alone.

i nv like being alone.

but i cannot have a choice.

back back back.

it rents the air.

i know this totally dun make sense.

either do i understand the purpose of this.

am i going crazy in this emptiness?

or am i jus going thru a major nervous breakdown?

HELP! even the THUNDER scares me now!

i have no assurance.

it's reali PAINFUL.

HAUNTING.

HELP!

2006-12-08T07:39:00.000-08:00

hi aunty dot!
how are you?
hope you're fine!
grins~!
ok!
i'm being lame.
but who cares?
this was taken somewhere in between BUGIS and TAMPINES!
we went shopping!
i mean they went shopping!
i bought milk shake.
ate herbal chicken.
that's abt all.
well, i helped keith picked his shirt.
( i might be hung for it. )
i'm after all, a waste.
haha!

this is either on our way to our steam boat buffet.
if not it's on the way back.
nevertheless, we had fun.
we were armed with red roses. haha!
our trip back at first was rather amusing. with the train driver(whatever you call him)
he cam out and we all kept quiet.
how funny can it be?
grins~!

2006-12-07T07:37:00.000-08:00

so it's this way.
my sister has been gone like 4 days.
it seems like 5years to me!
it's boring to have no one to ask for the computer.
it's near madness to know that i come home to loneliness.

no shit. it's heavenly to have a family.
and i love my dad, mom, sister.
i love my servers especially.
then come my godsisters, godbrothers.
DAJIE. ( one and only )
i love them all!

these few days have been rather hectic.
i'm not very sure why. but well.
it's making me rather used up.
late nights and little sleep sure conexist together.

soccer aint that amazing anymore.
i seriously have no idea why the drop in interest.
i want to play.
i want to score.
but it's jus very tiring.

but all this ends one day soon.
i'll use this already depelted body to work more wonders.
a miracle i'm still 66kg.
step lionel messi only.

let's look at my wish list before i die!

i want to witness a bloody miracle.
i want to see a bloody comet hit earth.
( not a one hit k.o type. )
i wan KEWELL's signature.

LIST TO BE UPDATED

it's kinda sad to know confirmation is deemed as graduation.
no wonder father didnt want to confirm many.
it's not a matter of being smart.
or being blessed with bible knowlegde.
mayb it's jus nothing is done to keep everything in check.

I FAILED!

2006-12-03T06:00:00.000-08:00

it's reali amazing where our soccer team standard has come to. i owe it all to the man standing there.

memories from IJTP. we remembered the hard fought victories. we rememered our final match against st ignatius. we remembered DANNY's tap in. We remembered the winning goal. and of course, they're quick to remind me about my penalty miss.

these names are remembered.

( players )

Bernard
Anthony
Desmond
Biwas
Shermann
Vinod
Emmanuel
Sean
Joel
Larris
Jeremy ( grins )

Cheerleaders

Raymond
Eugene
Dominick
Kevin
Uncle Dom
Uncle Tim
Uncle Henry
My Dad
Aunty Dot
Uncle Nelson
Audrey
Amanda
Sheryl
Sherlyn
Dora
Sandra
and those names we didnt mention.

you guys gave a hell lot of shouting and screaming. without you. there nv be a US!

SMILE! :)

FOR WE CAME, WE FOUGHT AND WE CONQUERED.

2006-11-27T08:10:00.000-08:00

Let's start off with things i want and need for CHRISTMAS! cos at least i'm given what is needed instead of a want! haha!

THINGS I NEED

make-over
a haircut
a wallet
a new brain
self control
a date for my year end party
*chelsea to finish the season titleless

(*)means arguable

THINGS I WANT

an electric guitar
australia national soccer jersey
new handphone
a new house
new computer
new television
man utd to win everything
new shoes
sound system in my room
maid?
figo portugal jersey
psp
ps3
full marks for maths

you might have noticed that th want list is more. so i everybodies want list i think. yes christmas is a season for giving. but i'll be damned to give ppl what they want instead of what they need. not that i want to save $$. i'm not someone that will complain on cost. i jus complain on whether it's worth it. laughs. so ppl. take time to look at our own want and need list. ask and it shall be given. let's all ask for something of more importance.

went out with JUSTINA today. LATE! damn! not that i'll be late la. we went to * whats that place again? * for lunch. like always, order way too much. but it was good food! real good. laughs~! i spilled the dumplings fillings and so many things. rrice.. snores~!

YING, it's ya bdae! and i have no pictures of you with me to post. i'm so sorry. sec school is shy for me. haha! know that i love you like you love me. grins~!

HAPPY 19TH BDAE!

2006-11-09T10:13:00.000-08:00

Baby, please try to forgive me
Stay here don't put out the glow
Hold me now don't bother if every minute it makes me weaker
You can save me from the man that I’ve become, oh yeah

Lookin' back on the things I've done
I was tryin' to be someone
I played my part, kept you in the dark
Now let me show you the shape of my heart

Sadness is beautiful loneliness is tragical
So help me I can't win this war, oh no
Touch me now don't bother if every second it makes me weaker
You can save me from the man I've become

I'm here with my confession
Got nothing to hide no more
I don’t know where to start
But to show you the shape of my heart

I'm looking back on things I've done
I never wanna play the same old part
or keep you in the dark
now let me show you the shape of my heart.

it may sound kinda gay! but yet, Backstreet boys nv fails to impress. They always find the right time to come back with new albums to make aliving out of everyone! haas! perhaps the main reason behind me loving and ( not reali worshipping BSB ) is i used to have a girlfriend. she told me she'll nv leave me if i can sing like them. ( she left anyway ) her departure didnt mean that i cant sing. or she didnt keep her promise. ( mayb it's time to grow up yea? ) so shape of my heart was posted in my blog. of all songs why that? certain factors will shine that we dunno how someone look like inside. ( please exclude dirty thoughts here ) mayb it's time to show ppl what you look like? to have them show it back. officially.. bsb rocks!

so this is the logo of my outside team! inspired by MANCHESTER UNITED. it's damn cool please? i mean i dun play well in that role la. but i can do better. hehe! and it has been long since my entry. a lil weird that i always take so long to blog even though i have time. the thinking itself would have killed me off.. imagine the creativity cells in my brains that are killed off every second? oh man! laughs~!

so in conclusion... let's jus end it this way with a phrase that took my breath away!

"There's a miracle called friendship that dwells within the heart,and you don't know how it happens or where it gets its starts,but the happiness it brings you always gives a special lift, and you realise that friendship is God's most precious gift."

i LOVE all my friends!

2006-11-08T07:06:00.000-08:00

8 BUTTONS we wish we HAD ON OUR COMPUTER KEYBOARDS

(jus imagine all as buttons)

Faster Close All Porno Pop-Up Windows Cos Boss is Coming

Undelete
(isnt much easier than having to hit CTRL + Z?)

Load Faster, You Stupid Computer!

Recall E-mail That I Shouldnt Send

Reboot
(Why make us press CTRL+ALT+DEL?)

PANIC!

ANY!

F-it
(We dont need buttons F1-12. Jus Give Us an F-it button.)

___________________________________________________

i have always loved LUIS FIGO. since young. Since the day he played for SPORTING LISBON. he then went on to play for BARCELONA before making history in spain but moving over to rivals, REAL MADRID. now even at INTER MILAN, he drop and go dribbling still poses a threat to many defenders. Common singapore knowledge of that dribble would be called CUTTING! so you guys finally found out where i learned my cutting from eh? He won european footballer of the year in YEAR 2000! from there he took the stage by storm. i have no idea why i'm talking abt him. but yea. it's good to have ppl know who i like. grins~! i loved him since young. and i will continue to admire and learn whatever i can. though AGE is catching up on him faster than normal! you seldom see him do his MAZING run anymore. sadness!

this man was once rated by SIR ALEX FERGUSON the most expensive youngster! $50 million was his value in year 1999/2000. no one knew him when he took the left side of leeds! but an eye for goal and his limitless set of dribbling skills, he was kept in favor by DAVID O'LEARY at the expense of LEE SHARPE. Well, not many major Trophies to his name but he got a PFA young footballer of the year award. a CHAMPIONS LEAGUE MEDAL ( this sure counts alot)! but he was once a HATED figure in his hometown. THE SOCCEROOS (AUSTRALIA, you stupid fool!) i like his dribbling and all. He makes me go GAGA! grins~!

you tired so hard and got so far. in the end it doesnt reali matter. i tried so hard to lose it all. in the end it jus keep coing back. i dunno what to do with you? either i make or break? behind that face smiling at me, what were you thinking? you seek understanding but you dun understand what understanding is. you wanted space i gave you the sky. you wanted freedom, i unlocked my chains to you. now you want me out? great? sometimes i run, sometimes i hide. cos i'm so scared of you. all i reali want is to hold you tight. treat you right. be with you day and night.

so as we finish off the night today. please be reminded that many souls await your prayers to help them.

LIGHT a CANDLE!
Baby DANIELLE, you dun know how my heart breaks to know this world isnt for you. i haven seen you. carried you. seeing you from a thumbnail to the size of my head, i was looking forward. i pray for your parents to be strong. and i hope you know. wherever you are now, you're already missed by so many of us! i cant give you the love you need. jus know i'm praying for you. cos i know you were alive!

NERD

2006-11-05T06:33:00.000-08:00

whooooops... so tell me! what's wrong with being INDIAN, CHINESE, or any other race? Why do so many wan to go change their RACES to eurasian? i mean where does it bring you? i dun speak chinese well! but DAMN! i'm PROUD to be a CHINESE! LESLIE cant speak his MT for nuts. but he doesnt mind his MA-LA-LAM ( something like that ) race! please be ensured that whoever that is reading this is not offended! cos i do not mean any racists remarks.

MORAL OF STORY - be proud of what you are!

Misca Barton, hmmm! YES YES! she's pretty. LOL! but LAURIE, i set my eyes on RACHEL BILSON le.. difficult to change targets! LOL! ok those who dunno what shows MISCA BARTON acted in, please go die now! No No dun die. jus knock ya head against the wall! MISCA BARTON is ranked 64 in FHM uk's 100 sexiest women! 64! oh man! that's far! She acted in THE SIXTH SENSE, NOTHING HILL, LOST & DELIRIOUS. She appeared for JAMES BLUNT ' goodbye my lover' music video. betcha didnt know! hehe! and she died in a car crash in the arms of RYAN in THE O.C. ( give me a tissue please! sobs~! ) alright. enuff of the facts that no one know. in fact i'm amazed that i know more about her than RACHEL. ( sorry! ) haas! She's a 1986 baby BTW. good choice! lol!

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY whooooo! why do so many people not like you? it is not like you got your career by doing nude scenes or some rated X videos. but why do people not like you? i like her btw. BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM, KING ARTHUR, PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEANS, STAR WARS episode 1 ( the other half of PADME, bet ten thousands of you didnt know at all ) THE JACKET, DOMINO, PRIDE & PREJUDICE. namely those few that i saw her in la. haas! more movies than MISCA BARTON, more money than her too. more famous. but more hated too! snores~! rumours about her being anorexic? mayb that triggered the HATE MAIL! parents ask their daughters to close their eyeswhen they see her! but i dunno whether she's anorexic. haas! PLUS PLUS! she reali watches soccer! she's a devout fan of WEST HAM united! cool eh? She's from britain mah? Home of english football! 1985 baby! ( muaacckkz )

2006-11-02T07:27:00.000-08:00

BRO ARIN, no one would expect you to be so into our lives. The jokes will always stay VIVID in my mind. It's sad that you're leaving so soon! As in we'll miss dinner with you. Lunch too! Sometimes even Breakfast. In fact we miss you the most when laugh at each other. laugh at the talks you gave. Laugh at almost everything! We have nothing for you but you gave everything you can give to us. ( so we can only follow you to SENTOSA and clothe the poor people! ) and VIVO CITY to watch THE GUARDIAN! We know you'll miss us. Thank you for everythign you've done for us! The number of times you made us laugh. The number of times your stories fascinated our curiousities. THANK YOU BROTHER AND GOD BLESS YOU!

Bro will nv expect a touching testimonial like that! ( mayb it wasnt that touching enuff? ) haaas! but days have been reali fun! Watched the PRESTIGE. So many Twists to the story. but it was good la! lol! Watched with ANTHONY and BISWAS. Got a performance with my classmates at THE CATHAY ben's and jerry's. but dunno what song to play! ( they will definately play some funny song )

now now! i'm so in love her la! does she look like RACHEL BILSON? in case you hot blooded guys dun know! THE OC? dumbass! if you dunno her you can go die! haaas! i so wanna see her la.. take her on a hot air balloon! we can see the night sky this way! Ro-Man-Ti-Ca. grins~!

isnt she lovely, this hollywood girl! and they say.. she's so lucky! she's a star.. but she cries cries cries in her lonely heart thinking. if there's nothing missing in my life then why do these tears come at night!

2006-10-29T04:39:00.000-08:00

You can run and you can hide

You can tell me you're untrue

You can play around with my feelings

Say you found somebody new

But there's one thing you can't do

You can't stop me loving you

You know I love you baby

Why do you treat me this way

I don't deserve this kind of treatment

And I'd have been so good like a lover should

And I'd have loved you anyway

nice lyrics no? haas! so i'm blogging from JEREMY's place! in the dark! and in like 5 hrs time i have a match! goodness knows whether i need sleep! haas!

so it's been long since my last update! LONG! so many things happened along the way anyway! like FLO, u came to my house without tell me. had a great difficulty try to explain to my mom! fabricated some weird story about you anyway!

then came wardens retreat! it wasnt exactly that entertaining, but it was refreshing! FATHER talked about gifts that have yet to be opened! " these are signs of believers; for they shall pick up deadly snakes and be unharmed, for they shall drink deadly poison and live! they will speak in tongues and proclaim the word of the lord! " so FATHER looked at me and asked if i did any! a straight NO would have settled everything! but i went on with how would someone drink poison! blah blah blah! so the others add stuff in. then we had a long mass! HAHA! during the mass, MAN UTD WON! yup! a great day to end off a sunday and start a new monday!

now, i got to part with my darling for as long as possible! but i'm pretty sure KIMMY will take good care! LOL! right? thanks for the help at the retreat! telling me the lyrics of chasing cars all! hahah! nice nice! grins~!

racing sucks please! i lose to all my friends! hahahaz! didnt know they secretly training. hahaz! use to win them! grins~! NICOLE is damn funny la! she slangs with this ang moh accent and tell me; ( jus imagine) " yea, that was good. at least you didnt get last! " EXCUSE ME! were you paying attending? i got LAST! then it made her PAISEH! even eurasians turn red kkz! FLO and NICOLE aka the ang moh twins as my not so good with english friend says! FLO, soccer player! NICOLE, lousy attention span! ( goldfish! )

enough of them.. so it's getting late! jeremy jus bathed! i'm still tired! and i'm bored! so how? play bowling? rubbish la! oh well, reali tired le.. the creative brain cells in my brain isnt working that well le! in fact! lol! it's not working! so here's to the dullest post i ever posted!

CHEERS

NERD

2006-10-15T08:33:00.000-07:00

no

it's been a long time since i last blogged. well, it's has been quite fun. in fact very fun. but damn the HAZE it's killing me. making me feel like earth isnt safe anymore! haha! WHATEVER!

i finally bought the white AIG MANCHESTER UNITED JERSEY! nice? LOL!

ORIGINAL MAN UTD JERSEY - $110
ORIGINAL MAN UTD SHORTS - $30
THE SMILE ON THE FACES OF EUGENE RAYMOND AND DESMOND! - PRICELESS!

tell me abt it man! ahahaha! shocking and surprised were their expressions! hahahaha! LARI ya LIVERPOOL jersey will be here soon i hope! sorry abt the other day! wasted ya time!

now now, KANGAROOS are my favorite animal! i mean who the heck said they were DANGEROUS? handfeeding the KANGAROOS? too bad i didnt.. too many ppl! lol! then while walking, we saw two WAR HOGS or WARTHOGS! kinda like forgotten the names! lol! they were like wrestling please! cool lah! ahhaha! now you see white tigers! WHITE TIGERS! i nv imagined them so beautifully alived. guess that's why their skins are being hunted for! and look at a lions JAW! it can jus swallow my HEAD! how scary can that be? the JAGUARS were boring.. so were leopards and cheetahs.. didnt see POLAR BEARS though! all in all! the trip was entertaining! i LOVE it. lol.

was having some OCTOBER FEST thingy in church auditorium... GERMAN hotdogs.. go figure! lol! well, you can see KRISTINE's sister, CLAUDIA ( maybe it's not spelt like this? ) acting like a vampire! ( HALLOWEEN's round the corner.. they even have teeth to go along.. ) someone was feeding on me! haaas! ANDREW was so hyper, ORIEL was playing so hard to get! we did have fun! BUT I'M STILL SICK! sobs!

oh well, got to sleep soon! take care ppl! MUAACCKKZZ!

2006-10-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

so.. the cake was done. and gladly, i did it on my own. yes! we started off abt 3pm and so on. but didnt hav eggs. went to NTUC to get it. went back MANDA's place, mixed and beat the mixture. By 4pm it was in the oven. though switching on the oven made the house tripped a few times. but soon, it started off.

now now, i didnt spoil any beater or broke anything. in fact, i felt good that i had a lil knowledge learned from so many people combined. HAHA! for my second try i think this was good! mayb not to many standard. LOL. but i'm happy! my mom's happy! ok ok, haha! from the pictures, i think the center wasnt reali cooked! to tell the truth, i wasnt that very sure! ahahahha! please ppl! tell me it's edible and nice! haaas!

yup! i know! i cheated! i use a pre-made mix! actually i dunno how to mix flour and all too.. laughs~! that'll be level 2! hehe! ( i might need to trouble JUSTINA again )

MANDA and DREY were sleeping as i went thru 25 MINUTES ( the song la! ) PAINT MY LOVE! and watched SLYVESTER and TWEETY mysteries. as i was going thru all that, my mind was on this CAKE! guess today was CAKE day! haha!

the two pictures of my HANDS! got burned la! dun ask why! thought it's a small patch, it hurts la! haiz. put toothpaste and all! snores~!

went MARCUS's house to swim later! HURRAY! i know how to somersault! as in i reali did the real thing! only that my shorts nearly made me EXPOSED! ( nearly came off la! ) but it was fun! did it again, and again, and again! then did it with MARCUS. so cool la! JUMP and SPLASH! but then, we ( EUGENE MARCUS AND ME ) went to play soccer! hehe! then EUGENE made plans with this not so YUMMY girl! ( STEPHANIE ) we're going out on thursday! and i reali am not into this kinda MEI MEI! laughs~! but i wanna go shopping too. so yea! laughs~!

HAPPY BDAE TO YOU
HAPPY BDAE TO YOU
HAPPY BDAE TO SHEILA
HAPPY BDAE TO YOU

2006-10-06T10:14:00.000-07:00

RIGHT ANSWER TO NOT REGRET!

YOU are driving your car on a dark stormy night. You pass a bus-stop and you see three people waiting for the bus.

An old woman who looks like she's about to die

An old friend who once save your bleddy life!

The perfect man or woman you have been dreaming about.

Who would you offer a ride to? knowing the your car can only squeeze one more person.

you could pick the old lady because she's going to die and you should save her first.

or, you could take your old friend cos he once saved your life. and this would be the chance to pay him back.

However, you would nv be able to find your perfect dream partner again!

TAKE YOUR TIME! THINK WHAT WILL YOU DO! MY ANSWER IS SIMPLE. AND I WONT REGRET.

___________________________________________________________

today! wa! ordination! do this do that! sweat like mad! kenna caned by father. run ard church. laugh, watch ghost whisperer, eat chocolate, stare at this special someone and watch her smile back! LOL. BISWAS is damn funny lar.. i keep disturbing him but.. hahaha! he doesnt seem to get every of my joke! haiz! wasted my effort!

the key ppl i PUNK'd today!

FLO - told her i met with an accident cannot met her today! lol! she practically went to msg my classmates then they ask me! hahahahahahha! told them to play along... they tell her my leg might be amputed. WA LAU EH! enough said! she rushed down to SP and whack me! the amputed part gave everything away! i couldnt meet her anyway! laughs~!

ANTHONY, BISWAS, RAYMOND - ' eh, quick come down! father wants to see you guys. ' when they came down, i told them. ' you know arh, i think father wants to cut our hair leh? he ask us stand one row. ' WA LAU! they damn scared siah! biswas secretly hiding in the sacristy! hahahahaha! in the end, while they waiting for punishments, i tried to control my laughter! after all, it wasnt easy for me o prank ppl mah? lol. give me credit. i scared the shit outta you guys. LOL! now i so worry about the same bleddy thing. i might get PUNK'd back! but it's worth it. hahahaz! fellowship comes with merry making! grins~!

so ordination was good! but our training all didnt do any good! reali! it sucks la.. nothing was reliable when mass started. haiz. sadly! but all went well and i was very delighted. hahahaz. THANK YOU YOUTHS , JEREMY BRUCE, KIMBERLY BRUCE, DANIEL, GEN, JOEL, CHARMAINE, ANGELINE, RODDY'S SISTER, JOSCELYN, AND THOSE PPL WHO I MISS OUT. CANT RMB. thanks for everything! appreciated it! you all make it happen! ( lessen my burden too )

as for clearing up! THANK YOU SERVERS FOR ALL THE SUPPORT EVEN THOUGH I ALWAYS GIVE YOU HARD WORK. THE YOUTH TOO! ANTEAUS, JILL, SHEILA! blah blah blah! SPANK YOU SO MUCH!

tired la please! lol. supposed to call lari but i guess she sleeping le. didnt wait for me. but i got to turn in soon too! i hope i get a psp soon! wanna play le... lol. hahahahahz..

so it comes to this... my answer for the quiz above!
- I would give my car keys to my friend who saved my life and ask him to save the old lady's life while i stay behind with my dream girl and wait for the BUS!

TADA!

2006-10-04T08:46:00.000-07:00

Things That Makes Us Go Hmm!

How impt does a person have to be before they are considered ' assassinated ' instead of jus plain ' murder ' ?

Why are you in a movie, but on TV?

Why is BRA singular but PANTIES plural?

Can you cry underwater?

If pizza is round, why does it come in a square box?

How come ppl say they slept like a ' BABY ' , when babies wake up like every bleddy two hours?

CHOPE CHOPE CHOPE: dont the ' ALPHABET SONG ' and ' TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR ' have the same tune?

Why did you jus try to sing the two songs above?

__________________________

so, today was fun please. hahaz! waited half an hour for eugene and raymond. made smses to ppl i dun usually msg. replied nice stuff to ppl. lol. it was worth it lar. went PASAR MALAM to get a handphone cover. $5 man! wanted to ask for discount. but thought against it. haaas. went to look for jerseys. saw the BARCELONA oranje de. nice nice. but no money buy. haha!

now, went CHRISTIE's place to bake. 13th floor. but went to 14th floor. EUGENE still can say! i know her door. got fish all de. snores~! one old lady came out! si mi? wa lau.. cannot take it. laugh till stomach pain. PAIN! haas. christie's sister very noisy! SANDRA her name! she likes the word stupid! everything is like, ' so stupid! ' but it's fun. we sang songs! not make noise. STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN, TONG HUA, I'VE GOT YOU, QUEEN OF MY HEART, WHEN YOU SAY NOTHING AT ALL and many more. hahahahaha! now the baking part!

find a nice bowl! something you can stir with ease! hahahaz! find a good beater! ( i broke christie's one! ) stir it well! after putting the eggs everything, stir and stir. stir stir stir stir stir. while stirring, find time to grease the tray! lol. butter, oil! lol.. anything will do. ( i dunno abt the oven! dun ask me! ) lol! and always try not to make too many holes in the top of the cake! it'll look ugly ( like mine ) but taste nice! hehehehehehehehe! i'm so proud. my first cake. but next time, i can do myself le. easy! lol. i think.

i wrote this song for my mummy! send it to the radio station! dunno whether they'll play for me! hahaz! it might be an impossible task but well, i can do it at home too! haaas! mayb i should write the lyrics out? mayb! haas! let's see:

memories that we laugh and sing
I hold inside my heart
I'm not alone. we'll jus getting closer.
I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where we are
The quarrels we had, situations that we cried.(oh yeah)

so i tried my best, to make this be the best
Reaching for the scenes that seems soo far

Chorus:
Soo I say it in a prayer
And hope my dreams will take it there
Where the skies are bule, the sea is once again...
May this bdae be the best
of the days you had this year
cos today will nv come again
anymore

2006-10-03T06:38:00.000-07:00

what can i say? this totally rocks. ahahahhaz. we had alot of fun in the auditorium. as in reali. sadly, we regretted not putting this costume on for the festival itself. haiz. then again, I SAY SORRY NOW TO BLOGGER. for venting my anger all to it. haiz. please forgive me kkz? i knwo you will. if not these pictures wont be there. haha!

oh well, we ran ard the auditorium with big heads. it's damn fun lar. hahaz. eugene bang into the ice box. hahaz. cool eh? guess these are the kinda things that i reali enjoy with him and my servers. laughs~! of course my sister and cuzie played a good part too. hahahaz. now we actually had a kung fu show off. did some high jump kicks and shadowless palms. grins~! as you know! eugene lost! haha!

well, i'm going over to christie's place tmr to try bake a cake. hahha! but i dunno what to do. i hope i do it well. i wanna surprise ppl all de lehz? lol. THANK YOU JUSTINA, LAURIE, LARI for the help! THANK YOU CHRISTIE too. nturally all are girls. co i cannot find a guy that i know that bakes. haaas!

i like this song. so must you. hahaz! till next time. haha! got to go!

I’m drunk off your kiss
For another night in a row
This is becoming too routine for me
But I did not mean to lead you on
And it’s all right to pretend
That we still talk
It’s just for show, isn’t it
It’s my fault that it fell apart

Just maybe
You need this
And I didn’t mean to
Lead you on

You were everything I wanted
But I just can't finish what I've started
There’s no room left here on my back
It was damaged long ago
Though you swear that you are true
I still pick my friends over you
(My friends over you)

Please tell me everything,
That you think that I should know
About all the plans we made
When I was never to be found
And it’s all right to forget
That we still talk
Its just for fun, isn’t it
It’s my fault that it fell apart

Cuz maybe you need this
And I didn’t mean to
Lead you on

You were everything I wanted
But I just can't finish what I've started
There’s no room left here on my back
It was damaged long ago
Though you swear that you are true
I still pick my friends over you
(My friends over you)

Just maybe you need this
You need this…
And I didn’t mean to
Lead you on

You were everything I wanted
But I just can't finish what I've started
There’s no room left here on my back
It was damaged long ago
Though you swear that you are true
I still pick my friends over you

2006-10-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

i dun want another self centered, attention seeker like you. ( like talking abt me eh? ) rubbish la! it's not me. i'm no longer self centered to the extent that ppl ard me feel i am. what do i expect from you? not money! ( mayb it'll do fine if it's in millions. ) not love! ( like i think you will give me that you hypocrite! ) i jus want some respect that im still human. some acknowledgement that i exist. what is it that i aways do wrong? and everyone else is right? why is it that you can complain and i must come *hong you? (*slang for sayang) and when i complain, i get the cold treatment. ( but i didnt ask you to do anything for me what! your whine ) i'm jus sad. sad sad sad sad sad that i do things without getting resuts. no one can take it when things are done for nothing. be glad you still have me here. cos one day, this same guy might be the one you seek for help. ( i make myself sound so impt! ) of course. who would want to be a unimpt friend? BAKA! so this song is for you.

I guess this time you're really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
Well as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love is suicide
You say you've cried a thousand rivers
And now you're swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won't save me anymore
I'm praying to God you'll give me one more chance girl

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe, I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

I know you know we've had some good times
Now they have their own hiding place
Well I can promise you tomorrow
But I can't buy back yesterday
And baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your Valentine
I'll be the water when you get thirsty baby
When you get drunk, I'll be the wine

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you

I wasn't there when you were happy
And I wasn't there when you were down
Didn't mean to miss your birthday baby
I wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for ...

I'll be there for you, these five words I swear to you
When you breathe I wanna be the air for you
I'll be there for you
I'd live and I'd die for you
I'd steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can't say what love can do
I'll be there for you ...

2006-09-29T09:25:00.000-07:00

is it because i did too much? laughs~! hmmm, i know i know. these things all sound difficult. the stories you hear from someone is not exactly what happened. what makes you think ppl is this way? somethings arent the way it's supposed to be. as in really. but it's ok. it can nv go far with you anyway. but please prove me wrong. please. life is abt changing.. not regrets.

this this somebody. ok la. it's not like i dunno who. but i hate speculating who are you. but please stop your nonsense with father. i hate to get emails trying to explain what my servers do. i'm sick and tired of it. they have got thier lives. i nv wan to intude in this shit. cos i got my own life too. but it was kinda screwed up by you. oh well, you always tend to be self centered. guess it doesnt help much eh? screw up my life not enough. screw up so many ppl's life. very fun right? i'm pretty sure to err is human. but so many times? jus stop please. i have enough. and i'm reali afraid. not afraid of challenging the actions. but scared that i might one day say something wrong. then we'll all be sorry aint it?

well, you can continue your proud stance. ignoring and everything you can. jus throw it to me. it's not as though i dun make efforts. i even try to make it in a way that it's easier to talk. but you jus wouldnt care a dime. guess a dime is too little for you. but trying is everything right? laughs~!

damn.. frustrations are being dealt to blogger today. i mean.. ahahhahaa. look on the bright side. i get to enjoy th red sky.. bluish grey later.. then grey .. then the night sky.. all in? 20 mins. i jus stared out of my window. i msged two girls. 1 replied. the other after 4 hrs said sorry. lol. wth. not that both are gals of my life. but one might? ahahahhaa! kidding. if i could jus click forward 10years. i know who i'm gonna marry. or is the priesthood for me. who knows. laughs~!

here;sthe old version of the when you say nothing at all. it's for you.

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old Mr. Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

2006-09-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

i've been listening to this song. *aint no other man* jus started jumping and dancing. haha. been watching women soccer. cos of FLO. she's such a beaut man! i mean, one look, you'll nv expect her to kick a ball. but, man, she knows how to flip a ball. ( i dont know btw ) she heads kick and erm, chest! ( i'm no pervt ) haaas. i think she likes me! ( nah i'm so dead if she sees this. i'm jus kidding. ) watched her played once. i might even want to ask her to play for st anthony's. grins~! well enou abt her. new friends get talked abt alot eh? oh, she's mixed. spanish and all. cant rm. but, GET THE POINT GUYS! grins~!

yes. i'm slacking alot. father took the initiative to tell me that. cos i forget to turn off the fans. and yes. 10 slaps. i owe him though. lol. not so loking forward to it. haas. church soon be much more fun from now on. haha!

i miss you alot. as in reali. but you keep pushing me away. put it this way. haas. am i too bad? are you ashamed to say you're meeting me? cant i be like every other guy then? i guess it hurts right? to let ppl know that? let it be let it be let it be. so i dedicate this song to you.

I never meant the things I said
To make you cry
Can I say I'm sorry

It's hard to forget

And yes I regret
All these mistakes
I don't know why you're leaving Me
But I know you must have your reasons
There's tears in your eyes
I watch as you cry
But it's getting late

Was I invading in on your secrets
Was I too close for comfort
You're pushing me out
When I'm wanting in
What was I just about to discover
When I got too close for comfort
Driving you home
Guess I'll never know

Remember when we scratched our names into the sand
And told me you loved me
But now that I find
That you've changed your mind
I'm lost for words
And everything I feel for you
I wrote down on one piece of paper
The one in your hand
You won't understand
How much it hurts to let you go

Was I invading in on your secrets
Was I too close for comfort
You're pushing me out
When I'm wanting in
What was I just about to discover
I got too close for comfort
Driving you home
Guess I'll never know

All this time you've been telling me lies
Hidden in bags that are under your eyes
And when I asked you I knew I was right

But if you turn your back on me now
When I need you most
But you chose to let me down

Won't you think about what you're about to do to me
And back down...

Was I invading in on your secrets
Was I too close for comfort
You're pushing me out
When I'm wanting in
What was I just about to discover
I got too close for comfort
You're pushing me out
When I'm wanting in
(Yeh yeh yeh)

What was I just about to discover
When I got too close for comfort
Driving you home
I guess I'll never know...

2006-09-26T03:32:00.000-07:00

Sunday morning, up with the lark
I think I'll take a walk in the park
Hey, hey, hey, it's a beautiful day
I've got someone waiting for me
And when I see her I know that she'll say
Hey, hey, hey, it's a beautiful day

Ha, ha, ha, beautiful Sunday
This is my, my, my, beautiful day
*When you say, say, say, say that you love me
Oh my, my, my, it's a beautiful day

Birds are singing, you by my side
Lets take a car and go for a ride
Hey, hey, hey, it's a beautiful day
We'll drive on and follow the sun
Making Sunday go on and on
Hey, hey, hey, it's a beautiful day

tell me this song is nice. guess many of you dun know. hahaz. beautiful SUNDAY. ha ha ha it's a beautiful sunday. ( sundays have always been beautiful btw )

FLU BUG have been invading many homes. HELP! haha. i mean, i'm sick. what can i do? the cough's could have jus made me lie dead. but but. hmmmm....

watching PUNK'd now. it's cool please. i wanna do this kinda show next time. you guys will sure hate me. haaas. VIVA LA BAM. oh man, if i'm only as rich as them. haha. i would make a movie myself. revolution wars are fun to begin with.

school started on monday. BORING. what to do? school's a must. haha! i'm literally dragging myself to school. MATHS MATHS MATHS. it can kill or make you. but i guess i have to bear with it. hahaz.
so i'm lazying ard and making sure i keep below the 68 KG weight. yes arh!

ordination mass coming soon. excited? no. tired! yesh! long mass and my body isnt that ready for this anyway. hope i remember what to do. hhahahaz! love you. but i gtg.

2006-09-26T03:17:00.000-07:00

L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very very extra-ordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can

Love- its all that i could give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you

yeah....
L is for the way you look-you lookin at me
O is for the only one i see
V is very very extra-ordinary, now
E is even more than any anyone that you adore can

Love is all that i can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you

Love was made for me and you
Love was made for me and you

can you imagine it? this tune jus keeps going thru in my head.
hate to say it but yea. i like this song. imagine myself dancing ard
mike singing this song. oh man. rock my world. it's gross. haha!
now now... why is a MANCHESTER UTD & LIVERPOOL JERSEY together?
simple things first. i'm going to get two.
not that i suPPORT LIVERPOOL.
but cos, i adore HARRY KEWELL.
imagine he was fit for AUSTRALIA.
teams like BRAZIL or ITALY can go home early.
wasted? i totally think so. which small boy doesnt support LEEDS?
that was when i started seeing KEWELL rock the stadiums.
but i think i'm not getting the jersey for myself.
it's not fair. haha! LIVERPOOL supporters sorry!

now now. AIG. the cause of MAN UTD's downfall. or mayb not.
yea. i totally agree. the RED wan is gross.
but it doesnt deter me from buying this white jersey.
MAN UTD'S jersey are always nice.
regardless of what colour they are.
(they better not come up with some green or yellow jerseys)
total cost: $100 + $100 = $200
: )( :
wow. that's alot of CASH. haas. i shall go rob bank soon.
( dun tell anyone it was me.)
EUGENE promise to get the AIG for me. haha.

then, BLOGGER tries to be an ass.
after minutes of typing,
they put connection not there.
i'll so kill them. haaas. if you can
see this mean all is not lost.
haha. haiz.
somethings are left unexplained.
please blogger. let me pass.

EUREKA! not sure it's the right word.
but who cares. haha.

i
miss
you
much more
than
you
ever
will know.





'RAIN

2006-09-20T08:58:00.000-07:00

somethings i rather not say. things haven been quite fruitful for me. quite! i mean, oh man. nvm. i'm jus so going to screw up. haas. please stay with me man. dun leave me behind. LOL. but i heard from alot of ppl that you have a weird kinda attitude. haha. but but i guess it's not my problem. haiz. not yet mayb. First of all, i'm so glad i've changed. thks to the servers definately. the support and everything they gave me couldnt be more than anything else.

when we all sat down and talked abt how we made hell in church. threatening to quit servers when father first came in. how ST TERESA's room have a mark at it's door. hahaz. how many tiles need to be replaced cos of our bicycle catching. come to think of it, we were active way before anyone else. but it wasnt constructive active. haha.

EUGENE definately rock my life more and more. you know it's dificult to actually ask him to commit himself to servers but i know when i need help, he's jus a call away. mayb two. no three. erm, four actually. hahaz. damn you. pick up your bloody phone. hahaz. we had quarrels fights but we are what we are. how i wish to so be like him. no caring about church activities. no need to plan. but to think again. with them, planning comes in fun, joy laughter.

i dun wanna make this any more retarded or anymore into talking abt someone else. hahaz. but know that you are going to kill yourself this way. cos i have my limits as i'm human. hahaha! now to wish KIM KIM KIM a belated bdae!! you sleep to early. hahahs.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KIM KIM. HAPPY BDAE TO YOU!!!! YAY!

HAHAHAHZ! take care ppl! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehahahahahhahahahahaha!!!

2006-09-18T06:49:00.000-07:00

Go Figure the Fun we had. Thanks AH KI KI. Without you, Chalet wasnt possible. RAYMOND, ROY, NICHOLAS, SHI HAO, WENDY:) , PURPLE DINOSAUR, SMALL NAS, MO MUMMY. Somethings jus cannot b forgotten. hahaz!

2006-09-14T06:30:00.000-07:00

Remember when, we never needed each other

The best of friends like

Sister and Brother

We understood, we'd never be,

Alone



Those days are gone, and I want so much

The night is long and I need your touch

Don't know what to say

I never meant to feel this way

Don't want to be

Alone tonight



What can I do, to make it right

Falling so hard so fast this time

What did I say, what did you do?

How did I fall in love with you?



I hear your voice

And I start to tremble

Brings back the child that, I resemble

I cannot pretend, that we can still be friends

Don't want to be,

Alone tonight


Oh I want to say this right

And it has to be tonight

Just need you to know, oh yeah



I don't want to live this life

I don't want to say goodbye

With you I wanna spend

The rest of my life



What can I do, to make it right

Falling so hard so fast this time

Everything's changed, we never knew



How did I fall,in love ,with you?

This basically sums up the love story i so dream of. I hate it when i make you cry for nothing. You try to cheer me up but it seems impossible. It must feel helpless to see me helpless. When my nose bled, you got the whole esplanade to get tissue for me. But i jus sat there helpless. Now i'm feeling this way, you call, msg. How lifeless have i been to ignore you or to even just say ok without knowing why. Then you dedicate this song to me. I missed it. Sorry. But thank you for all you've done. I'm still here. Just needed a something i dunno what! So bear with me first. I'll bring back the smiles.

Nessa~ you sure know how to threaten. but well, haha. i guess i owe you one too. First for the NARUTO episodes. haha. Without you, Life wouldn't be that exciting. ( i meant the naruto ) grins~! FLORENCE SAID: " I GIVE CREDIT WHEN IT'S DUE " i say, be a GIRL, do the right thing. haha! Be carefree! Be Happy. Bring Smiles though some people just wont smile. ( but it's alright as long one does ) soar like the EAGLE, be graceful too. ( please know that it's not that you're not happy or anything. haha. ) Always try to talk to that someone. ( in my case i'm always ignored then they'll feign ignorance ) grins~! come to think of it. BE YOURSELF. you're lovely in so many ways. ( the above mentioned comes with aot of thoughts. Disregard at your own wish. )

I suddenly feel happy. i know it's not lasting long.

2006-09-10T11:58:00.001-07:00

The Church Of The Handicapped

We live in a world bombarded by images of people who are beautiful, powerful and mayb even perfect. These perfect people seem to have all the gifts. Have you ever noticed how the poor, the powerless, the handicaped are never seen in TV ads? Even so-called religious TV programming features perfect-looking people. In such a world, it is hard to discover the gifts of the 'handicapped'

Jesus, on the other hand, was not just concerned with the handicapped of his day. He actually preferred them. He was far more comfortable with the villiage LUNATICS than the religious HYPOCRITES. He loved to talk and listen and eat and drink with the sick, the tax collectors, the poor, th homeless, the sinners, the Gentiles, the deaf and dumb, th handicapped. Notice how Jesus took sight of the deaf man in last sunday's gospel. Notice how he tenderly takes the man, off by himself away from the crowd. Jesus takes him aside shows not ony he cares, but he shows the man, sensivity and respect.

Jesus shows himself to be the messiah, the kind of savior ISAIAH dreamed of and had his people hoped for. Unfortunately, DISCRIMINATION continues to persist even in church, at times when deafness or any other handicap is considered an impediment to the sacraments, as if to be a christian, one has to be a perfect specimen.

Have we abandoned such Discrimination especially in our ATTITUDES towards OTHERS? Do we realised that there is no perfect people either in the pulpit or in the pews? All of us are in a way HANDICAPPED. Only some of our handicaps are more obvious than others. Truely, we're all pilgrims in the church and being a pilgrim in the church is not an impediment. It is rather a reason to celebrate and to give thanks.

'RAIN

2006-09-07T08:40:00.000-07:00

i know mayb it's wrong. what we did last night. snores~! i jus couldnt help it. and you jus sat there smiling. oh man! ashamed of myself i would say. but all these years. yesterday was the best wasnt it?

i wouldnt dare say she was out to make me feel miserable. nor would i say she was out to make me feel good too. she jus doesnt want to see alot of me i supposed. the times she jus say she's busy. hmmm, it should have been this way. i messed up something but now it's haunting me. too BAD!

hahaz! lexine wants a post. what post? i hate posting! NOT! jus plain lazy. too much anime to watch. NARUTO, BLEACH, RAVE MASTER. hahaz! episodes after episodes. my eye sight sure die de. hahaz!

she's got it. yeah baby she's got it. ----> becoming my favorite songs.

now to the main topic. why does blog always have struggles with life? i think it gives ppl a chance to talk abt you. then you are the cause of them procastinating. (did i use the right word?) spare me those mushy i love you you love me we're one big family thing too. mayb you could jus tell them straight? jus mayb. but i guess some ppl have no guts. LIKE ME! grins~! so here i am talking abt you!! hahahhahaz! this is so ironic.

the result of what is blogged above is the reason why LAZINESS and blogging dun come together.

for you (you know who):

All your bags are packed, you're ready to go
you're standin' there at the airport
I hate to to be where i am saying goodbye

But the clock is ticking, & soon you'll board
The plane's waitin', & soon you'll be gone
please remember that we'll wait for you

So pray and talk to him
whenever you feel lonely
call us if you ever ever need a ear

'Cause you're leaving on a jet plane
but i know that you'll be back again
just take care of yourself

There's so many times I've let you down
the many conversation we have missed
i'm jus glad i know you someway

Every place you go, I pray for you
that you be safe and strong, I pray for you
i know you'll be back safe and in a piece.

So pray and talk to him
whenever you feel lonely
call us if you ever ever need a ear
'Cause you're leaving on a jet plane
but i know that you'll be back again
just take care of yourself

Now the time has come for you to leave
if i could i would give you a hug
And close your eyes and you'll be on your way

So pray and talk to him
whenever you feel lonely
call us if you ever ever need a ear

'Cause you're leaving on a jet plane
but i know that you'll be back again
just take care of yourself


'RAIN

2006-09-04T09:19:00.000-07:00

SAYS-TONG HUA

it's amazing how boredom sets in. give a guy a guitar. give someone a voice. now this video may not be the best. or mayb i suck in playing the guitar. i'm definately proud of it. IT's A CHINESE SONG.
(you can start clapping now)
yea, the video man didnt do a good job. but RMB you go for talents. not for POPULARITY. guess the SINGAPORE IDOL kicked in too. here's to our first video and many more to come. everlasting friendship do last. it's jus how you see it. dedicated to you! this! (look at above post!)

2006-09-04T08:52:00.000-07:00

A New Fergie song has leaked! From her upcomin album "The Dutchess", it's a pretty cool song, i like it! For some reason i think wit FErgie funny voice there will be no boring song in her album! mmm this will be a music suprise, i actually think it will be a good album, i still can't wait to hear all her songs in FULL.

2006-08-31T21:46:00.000-07:00

THINGS TEACHERS WISH THEY COULD TELL THEIR STUDENTS BUT CANT

Actually, you'll never need to know 90% of what i'm asked to teach you.

I wish they didnt make you come to school either.

Wait till you have seen what i have written about YOU on MY blog - www.siginnah.com

Don't take this the wrong way but where your father and mother and sister?

You know, it's true. You don't have to study hard and go to the University. I did and look at where i am now.

I really wish you were as smart as you think you are.

Please don't breed. Please.

Jack Neo was wrong : YOU DAMN STUPID. ( AND YOU DAMN STUPID TOO)

'RAIN

2006-08-30T07:39:00.000-07:00

A LETTER TO ALL JOAKIM GOMEZ'S FANS.

To the rapid, foaming-at-the-mouth Joakim's FAN, let me set the record straight: We're not JOAKIM-bashing. We do not have an evil agenda towards this sweet mummy's boy. He's cuter than NEMO and we LIKE him. As it is, many would line up to pinch his cheeks. So if you are a true JOAKIM fan, then please rethink what you're doing to this 18-year-old boy.You're keeping him week after week on the TEEVEE just because you want to keep seeing him. That is very cruel and selfish of you as JOAKIM cannot sing, and the intense, psychological trauma he suffers from nation-wide-mockery will only cause him to become a dysfunctional adult with self-esteem issues. By keep him in the contest, you're doing three things.

1) subjecting this poor boy to ridicule and crushing his mom.
2)causing SINGAPORE IDOL to be one big joke when compared to AMERICAN IDOL & finally
3)wasting your own money$$ (not as if i really care)

so if you really want to hear a debut album of SESAME STREET's no 1 hits from the next SINGAPORE IDOL then please make sure you're not half-hearted about it. RALLY your friends and buy enough copies to make it the BEST selling album in SINGAPORE of all TIME.

p.s : i never know that he can smile all teh way though in the bottom 3.

this is for you JOAKIM FANS:

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

'rain

2006-08-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

seriously CARLYN, what you say might be true! when it comes to SOCCER, guys are mayb jus plain VAIN! VAIN i repeat. hahaz!

i'm jus one TYPICAL example. my BOOTS. engraved with my name. wanted number too kkz? NO $$$! the only one in the WHOLE world. UNIQUE. yes. VAIN. yes. SHOWOFF. yes.

ARGENTINA, the highly rated team in the WORLD CUP, with the likes of LEO LIONEL MESSI, HERNAN CRESPO. now we have 6 SERVERS with that jersey. hence the printing. hahaz! BERNARDO no 11. cool right? i even have a breast number in the front. UNIQUE. yes. VAIN. double yes. SHOWOFF. triple yes! grins~!

it's been a long time since you last told me ya favorite fairy tale.
i've been thinking. i started to wonder. if it was something that i did wrong.
you came to me in tears. saying that fairy tales a fake.
but then i know. i'm no prince charming.
maybe you didnt know. when you said I LOVE YOU.
the stars started shining brightly at night.

i will make the fairy tale come alive and stay with you.
spread out my arms like the wings to comfort you.
you must believe that we can have a happy ever after.
i can be that prince of urs!

lovely? sad? emo? lame? hahaz! who cares. i think it's a good job done. i'll sing it soon. SHY LAHZ! hahaz! till then.

'RAIN

2006-08-20T09:24:00.000-07:00

my one eye is sore from the over using of my contacts. still, it didnt affect what i thought was the perfect bdae!

the many reasons why it was perfect

MY SERVERS ROCK BIG TIME PLEASE! hahaz! what can you actually expect? they sing for me. they get into trouble with me. they get the scoldings with me. no one actually made me laugh this much before. nv have anyone stick their heads out to die together as one like them. and i love them for that. too bad father couldnt make it cos of house blessing. if not! LOL! imagine ppl!

well, we shouldnt forget about NESSA's laughter, LEXINE's cheerful spirit too! they both played a part! (who can we answer our jokes if not for them?) japanese restaurant is definately fun!

ARCADE! a beautiful case of money wasting. but with them! expect the un expected. life playing arcades haven been more fun than this. walking ard the pasar malam is even worse. hahaz! the stupid duck costs us 8 bucks. but the shooting was fun. we all had near shots. hahaz!

the best time wasting! waiting for ppl! snores~! but it was worth it. hahaz! talking to you while waiting. havin msges come and go. OUCH! it was so late! hahaz!

HEY CARLYN! how was my BDAE PLAN? grins~! what abt ya surprise? wasnt expecting it yea? reali thankful that we are both the last to wish each other. i put serious thought in the song, imagination. you scared yourself too much! you're my SPECIAL 19 ! YAY! am i yours? laughs~! take good care old woman! i still got many plans up my sleeve! haha! our 21st bdae celebration together? grins~! i'm wise afterall!

so this is a bit of what happened! AMAZING for me! better than year 2003! definately! hahaz.

2006-08-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

am i ignoring? or jus making sure that the same mistakes nv happen again? i rmb i did tell you it's over! 4 years ago! mayb 3.5 years. but it didnt seem to be affecting you in anyway. when we left. i seriously felt lost. secondary school seems like shit! all the times we had! i jus couldnt get it right. but now. so long after. not only did you continue with the msges. you kept asking me if i'm fine. all ya msges reali brought out a different me. yes, i do admit. i enjoy msging you. but why make me wanna yearn for you? after every session i have to step outta it. and think deeply again. ya stories abt ya bf's not anything like me? why have you tell me? we screwed it up once. (then again, we didnt screw it up. i dun even know why!) was it what i want? hmmm. damn! i was reali surprised by ya visit teh other day. you could have jus called. coming to my house without calling is rude. and yea. since when will i have soft toys in my room? i have a phobia of them. that big girl replica is long gone. i'm sorry. i didnt even know you still rmb. i know you'll see this. definately! all i jus want to say is that. maybe we should talk and see what each of us want yes? though chances of us being together again is slim. we should least clarify stuff? yes? i'm sure you'll understand. we both make the effort. i'm jus sorry that everytime you approach, i'm not ready. it might hurt you alot. but i'm sorry. somethings are not abt what you want. but what we need. i care for you and i still did. we'll talk. soon...

FOR YOU THIS IS

I wanna know
Who ever told you I was letting go
Of the only joy that I have ever known
Girl, they were lying

Just look around
And all of the people that we used to know
Have just given up, they wanna let it go
But we're still trying

So you should know this love we share was never made to die
I'm glad we're on this one way street just you and I
Just you and I

I'm never gonna say goodbye
Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again

some people say
That everything has got its place in time
Even the day must give way to the night
But I'm not buying
Cos in your eyes
I see a love that burns eternally
And if you see how beautiful you are to me
You'll know I'm not lying

Sure there'll be times we wanna say goodbye
But even if we try
There are some things in this life won't be denied
Won't be denied

FOR YOU I WILL  

'RAIN

2006-08-17T10:16:00.000-07:00

oh man! someone kill me please! i told her! gosh! i know i shouldnt have but too much of me wanted to say it. but then again! she might not feel anything! or even put any thoughts into it! yea. let's think of it that way! but hey, what triggered that emotion of dream of her in that way? gosh! i dun rmb seeing her. nor did i talk to her alot this few days. let's not talk abt msging. that is way off. oh man! the last time i had this dream, was three years ago too! history repeats? hmmm... i wonder!

anyway, i didnt ignore you lah. i jus didnt want ppl to see us together. in school or out. it doesnt make our matters well. that last time you got close, i was nearly beaten up. this time, i nearly go run down by that same guy! but look on the bright side. you can call me yea? msging will be difficult though. but i might go with you to forbidden city kkz? 11th right? i might. i'm sorry if you felt i avoided you. my sincere apologies. but give time kkz? it might jus be fine!

so much troube in a couple of days. how am i to react when i this call came and scared the shit out of me. damn! that S.O.B nearly killed me and i'm supposed to kiss him and be friends. i did apologise for any trouble caused too. haas! with a smirk on my face.

hey TEAR. i miss you! come back soon! sobs~! i miss you too. (for that girl)

'rain

2006-08-14T07:13:00.000-07:00

i finally got my video done! jus needed soem touching up which i guess will be done after exams! a tribute to the group i spent almost 12 years in! dedicated to EUGENE for having brought me in! JOEL & RAYMOND for the never ending support! the sec 4's grp for the fun joy and laughter no one else could give. most and last of all! our parish priest FATHER TERENCE! without his guidance, i wont be here today! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

now thinking back! damn! life changes very fast! many of us have been in the group since young. watching each other grow up! juniors become leaders. i miss soccer in CHURCH! it was OLD TRAFFORD then. (many of us were MAN UTD fans) how regardless of rain we will still play! BICYCLE CTACHING? rmb how many tires got busted. how many fell and got wounds? still we carried on! BLOCK CATCHING! now that's super funny! i still rmb SAMUEL's time wasting tatics that soon got him injured! Rmb our sunday's session of LAN! hahaz! MAN! i miss those! haiz!

my birthday's coming! YAY! i have to go parish assembly! AWWWWWW! my servers will be there! HMMMM! anyway, thanks for that surprise i so least expected! how would i knwo you'll put ppl's name in bus all! LOL! tat was cool! now my imagination is stretched wide! hahaz!

anyway, for you! thanks for the thought! i was surprised we keep it going for like 7 times? it used to be 20 plus plus! hahaz! that was long time ago! neway this is for YOU!


If you seen me walking down the street
Staring at the sky
And draggin' my two feet
You just pass me by
It still makes me cry
But you can make me whole again

Looking back on where we first met
I cannot escape
And I cannot forget
Baby you're the one
You still turn me on
You can make me whole again

'rain

2006-08-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

Never ever have I ever felt so low
When you gonna take me out of this black hole
Never ever have I ever felt so sad
The way i'm feeling yeah you got me feeling really
Never ever have I had to find
I've had to dig away to find my own piece of mind
I've never ever had my conscience to fight
The way i'm feeling yeah it just don't feel right

i once believed in a never ending story! but our chapter stopped at 3! it wasnt the best chapters in my life but it worth while! jus tried to finished maths! it wasnt worth while! snores~! guess i'll be sleeping soon! not after naruto though!

certain reasons have made me unable to give my best to you! please dun give up on me and wait kkz? one day, one day you'll find all this worth it! i'll make myself worth to be called urs!

the before you sleep prayer.

.rain

2006-08-13T05:31:00.000-07:00

i had this dream! i was walking on this landscape! ( i went to find a snow covered land as near as it is to my dream! ) i know i wasnt walking alone yet i wasnt sure it was you with me! i felt warmth in my hands! i was holding ur hands. i helped you out when you fall! and when you couldnt walk anymore, i piggy backed you! i was jus walking and walking and walking! silence rented the air! this could have been our lives! keeping quiet! watching.

then this white UNICORN came. there was a blur! suddenly i see myself surrounded by red snow! the smell of snow and winter disappeared! you were gone! and in the front was the unicorn with the horn! though it was alive, it had already given up hope! i felt so sorry for it! i tried to help! but it jus gets further away! then it was gone too. so is the snow covered landscape! i was backed in my room! i was awake! what was it all abt? was the unicorn you?

my dreams will be explained in life i guess! somewhere thru, i might jus get a de ja vu. and i'll finally understand! jeremy was quite true in what he said in his blog! something i tried stressing! so many times! i have the same pity for you! all this bullshit abt lack of communication always seem to be the case! hahaz! but dun forget! SERVERS ROX! we bring almost every feeling anyon can have to anyone! shyness! funnyness! angryness! you name we can do it! that's our gift aint it? hahaz! jus CHILL yea? you'll pull thru!

NOW THIS IS STUPID! but i wont talk abt it! thinking of it makes me wanna die! hahahaz! NOT! let's see. what's today's date? damn! 17th is coming soon! apparently, i didnt think of her today till now! so it's an achievement! yes ar! LOL! .tear ~ wonderful job but yea! YOU SUCK! but to that girl! i dedicate this song!

so I guess the fortune teller's right
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
but you `crawled beneath my veins and now I don't care, I have
no luck
I don't miss it all that much
there's just so many things
I thought I saw a girl brought to life
she was warm she came around like she was dignified
she showed me what t was to cry
Well you couldn't be that girl I adored
she don't seem to know - or seem to care what my heart is for
I don't know her anymore
there's nothing where she used to say
my conversations has run dry
that's what's goin' on
nothing's fine
that I can't touch

~.rain~

2006-08-13T05:06:00.000-07:00

BEEN TAGGED TO DO THIS BY JOSCELYN!

1. Do the following without complaints.
2. Choose 5 person to do this after you have completed yours.
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say she/he had been tagged.

Favourite colour: RED!
Favourite food: TUTU !
Favourite movie: A WALK TO REMEMBER!

Favourite sport: SOCCER!
Favourite of the week:FRIDAYS!
Favourite Ice cream: RUM & RAISINS!!

Favourite Tv show: JAP ANIME WITH ENGLISH SUBTITLES.

Current mood: UNAPPRECIATED
Current taste: SOUR
Current clothes: E.D.M RED, BOXERS:)
Current desktop: NARUTO.

Current toenail colour: NATURAL!
Current time: 2008 hrs
Current Annoyance: LEAVING MY HOUSE ALL THE WAY TO WOOLANDS TO RETURN SOEMTHING THAT IS ASK OF ME LAST MINUTE!

Current thoughts: MAYB I SHOULDN'T HAVE...

First best friend: EUGENE JOHN YEO!
First crush: SECONDARY SCHOOL! SHE WAS AN ANGEL!
First movie: JURASSIC PARK!
First lie: I'M NOT LYING! :)
First music: GRASSHOPPERS
Last cigarette:SEC 2!
Last drink: GREEN TEA!
Last car ride: YESTERDAY NIGHT
Last crush: MEANING THE LAST PERSON I LIKE BUT DIDN SAY OR WHAT?
Last phone call: THAT GIRL UPSTAIRS! (BAKA)
Last CD player: AMBER PACIFIC!

Have you ever dated one of your bestfriend: WAS SHE MY BEST FRIEND? SHALL GO ASK! :)
Have you ever broken the law: ASSUALT? THREATENING!
Have you ever been arrested: YES. THREATENING!
Have you ever skinny dipped: IT'LL BE FUN.
Have you ever kissed someone you don't know: YEA. WHEN I WAS JUS 1 YEAR OLD I THINK!

5 luckiest person: I DUN BELIEVE IN LUCK! (BAKA!)

2006-08-12T01:52:00.000-07:00

I am in church! Blogging! GRINS~! hahaz! waiting for 5pm to come. then i'll go set up mass! saturdays have always been quite boring for me! fridays and sundays and wednesdays are the best! YAY!

played wrestling with ANDREW in the pool! he's super light can? but he still manage to throw me off my feet! a jump, grab, twist turn did the job! i'm so tired of the running jumping. hahaz! but it was cool!

i jus faxed the menu over to the cater! snores~! it was reali a chore! hahaz! but it was fun! UNCLE KENNY and UNCLE ANTHONY was reali funny! i'm gonna plan for our on carolling soon! it's my passion! i jus hope it turns out well. YES! laughs~! i wanna go place! to do that i got to be a different type of SERVER. i've gonna find someone to take over me though! haven been confident enuff to put anyone in charge! yea!

.tear - this is dumb please! we should be studying and nt using each otehrs internet! yea? and i reali wan that XBOX 360! does ya dad accept GODSONS? anyway, it was reali beautiful! you in that gown! yea. sure that guy was DROOLING! haas!

JOS - eugene and me made plans to go japan for food! chicks? grins~! jap girls are kinda like HOT please! they gonna have long hair though? haas! yes yes! a gift for the both of us! FOOD will be nice! we're saving to go together! hahaz!

Larris - without you! the world would be boring! hahaz! rmb how we chased you at sentosa? laughs~! it was reali one of a kind! thanks for always being the one! then jus now step angry! ( mayb you are? ) anyway, i dun believe in giving up! so yea! work hard and you'll improve!

Keith - oh man! you have improve a hundredfold! ok mayb not a hundred. TEN? but you improved! the turnings, stoppings, readings! that was good! but alot more can be done! hahaz! keep it up!

now finally for myself! LOL! i gonna up my game by alot these days! so many people has improved! i gonna do something too! hahaz! my knee's giving me alot of problems. and finally! my cutting skills are back! after i injured my knee, it seemed to disappear! but i realised today that i did alot of it! my first skill when i was primary 6! fine tuned till now! had a fall jus now! it was reali painful! but my team were good! DANNY, ANTAEUS, DOM and ME:) cheers! to our big four! laughs~! ANTAEUS after so long! finally we catch him back in action! looks like he havn lost his touch! hahaz!

ALL I KNOW IS I'M LOST WITHOUT YOU! I'M NOT GONNA LIE. HOW MY GOING TO BE STRONG WITH YOU, I NEED YO BY MY SIDE! IF WE EVER SAY WE'LL NV BE TOGETHER AND WE ENDED WITH GOODBYES, DONT KNOW WHAT I DO! LOST WITHOUT YOU! I KEEP TRYING TO FIND MY WAY!BUT ALL I KNOW IS I'M LOST WITHOUT YOU. I KEEP TRYING TO FACE THE DAY! LOST WITHOUT YOU!

MY GREATEST FIGHT! - fighting my own will!

~nErD~
( am changing it to .rain soon! )

2006-08-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

now let's jus look at this! this guy is practically insane! that was so uncalled for! who the hell does this? in exams test? omg! i believe when this guy grows up, his creative skills will be undisputed! i usually leave my questions blank! LOL! cheers to this guy for making me smile today! :) :) :)

today was alright! i miss lab test! snores! but got LOA! yay!

we played socer @ new court first! then dragon court! it was funny please! ok we found hats on the floor! wrapped in a covering! someone wore it. then two, then half the people playing wore it and became a team! laughs! everytime we scored, we took out our hats and wave! ~waves~ even charles did it! LOL! i dunno why but joscelyn was affected by it! ( the hats look like those cancer patient types or those who come singapore and konbawa 'meaning good evening in JAP' types! GOAL hats down hats up!) i can see why now JOS! grins~! i read ya blog also! it's the people ard that makes it entertaining! right? hahahaz! hang out with us more! grins! now, went back home later than usual! jeremy was so kind to accompany me! HIP HURRAY!

turning point of today! i went home msg her! i reali shouldnt have planned that out! shouldnt have even think abt it! i relish the chance to actually come up with something we have nv done before! guess it sort of backfired! BLAME IT ON MY SELFISHNESS! then this song popped in my head! ' ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE ' what the hell! hahaz! it brightens the night!

WHILE WE'RE APART, DONT GIVE YA HEART TO ANYONE! COS DONT FORGET WHOSE TAKING YOU HOME AND IN WHOSE ARMS YOU GONNA BE! SO DARLING! SAVE THE LAST DANCE FOR ME!

for you i will!
~nErD~

2006-08-10T21:10:00.000-07:00

i jus couldnt get that feeling off my head! i missed JOSH performance! to even add in the truth, i hardly did anything for the talent time except checking out the trophies! it was even used! what is it that i want? what is it that i need? where is that passion i so need when it comes to activities? PASSION! where did you go! ' in my head i seriosly know tat the talent time can be better ' next time my heart and soul will be in something! gonna know what what i want though! i gonna give something back to the church who brought me here today! yes! and i will!

THINGS THAT WANT IN LIFE!

.the passion, fire
.friends like my brothers
.tour of europe
.witness a miracle
.sky dive
.deep sea diving
.a kiss from you
.e feeling celebrating a mass (i know it's impossible but who knows?)

thought of quitting goes thru my mind! but if it's not for me, then who?

~nErD~

2006-08-10T10:15:00.000-07:00

NATASHA! YOU WENT OFFLINE AFTER TELLING ME YOUR NAME IS IN PINK! WE HARDLY CHATTED! SNORES! SO HERE GOES! YOUR NAME IN PINK AGAIN! :)

the two guys who carried me thru those times! as we think abt tmr as we think abt now. can we survive it out there can we make it somehow! as we go now! we rmb! all the times we! spent 2gether. as our lives change! for the better! we would always be! FRIENDS FOREVER!
___________________________________________________________________

i'm sorry that it took so long to write this song. but i gave up! you see one million words cant describe how to feels to know your love! where did i go wrong? i should have told you from the start, then i'm closer then you think we're apart. nothin that i tried is as simple as this line, but without you! my life is incomplete my days are absolutly gray. so i try to let your heart know for sure that i have so much more to tell you every single day!

meaningful aint it? though the acoustic version of it didnt reali ring my bell! laughs! today was quite bad! i think i screwed up my MECHANICS paper! oh well, it's all over yes? hahaz!

let's count the free gifts i have!

2 TICKETS TO FORBIDDEN CITY! (not sure going with who yet! any buyers?); FREE SWENSENS' ICE CREAM CAKE! ONE ADULT PASS TO SEOUL GARDEN. FREE MAIN COURSE AT ANY BREEKS CAFE OUTLET! CHOCOLATE BUFFET FOR 2. TWO CATHAY TICKETS FREE. $50 ADIDAS VOUCHER. 20% OFF PHONES @ SINGTEL. FREE RETURN AIR TICKETS FROM THE STATES (i have no idea why there only! like the return has use! ) $100 OFF DINING @ CRYSTAL JADE RESTUARENT AFTER SPENDING $150. AND MANY MANY MORE!

ouch! i'm pretty much awake when i got all that! thanks to policies, friends, clubs and so many more! but i dunno what to do with it. BREEKS? i hate that place! seoul garden! GROSS please! FORBIDDEN CITY is worth it. i need a partner though! (listen i'm not putting mself up for auction!) i'l find a use for that adidas voucher! will buy ANDREW a pair of red boots! most of it comes in pairs though! BAD TIME! where to find a better half! (NATASHA! dun say anything please!) i know! i shall give them away! YES! to anyone who wants! tell me and i'll take your proposal into consideration! grins~!

it's 2am now! gonna go SLEEP! snores~!

ilu;) thanks for that call! it freaking kept me away! i shall jus go upstairs next time! use a mop knock on the floor next time! (i think we should build a stairs from yours to mine!) i'm not marrying you! no worries!

~nErD~

(twinkle asks for candle!)

2006-08-09T10:18:00.000-07:00

1am, 10th August

' beep beep ' hey, valerie misses bernard! now she was to go back singapore! msg from auntie theresa! you better stay there till the 13th! hahaz! but am touch by words of a primary 3 girl!

9th of August was reali fun! woke up at 730am! (snores) went jamming with my friends! did a duet with that girl next door! finally got her to SING! laughs! of all songs she chose SOMETHING STUPID! then we started rocking away! she's real good! i jus try to go along. hardly know that song! (but it's a promise! i'll memorise it then we'll sing it better!)

i went home bout 11am to queue at the bank! DRAW MONEY what else? took out $100 for a friend in need! then i went to meet raymond, eugene and him! EUGENE's hair is like shit please! somebody kill that fashion destroyer thankyew! but cant blame him! school cut de. what do you expect? hahaz!

we went THE CATHAY for .TOKYO DRIFT then P.S for CARL's JUNIOR, then MAXIMUM TUNE! keep falling behind EUGENE, RAYMOND & HIM! but it's good i got third! haas! but it's lousy! laughs~! supposed to watch fireworks de. but got too carried away with the game then missed it. we went marina for dinner then pool! damn! i won RAYMOND, then SHERMANN, then HIM, but pushed EUGENE to the max then lost! haas! but i had fun! yay!

we went on the very last train! then some freaking DUMBASS vomitted all over the train! OMG! the smell was ****! but we went another cabin! it wasnt a nice experience! while in the i thought of how JOEL would have made a difference here! we reali missed him! hahaz!

while walking home, RAYMOND sent me this msg! ' i dunno what to do if you wont here! ' guess that's true too! i dunno where i'll be if not for these two guys! (picture) damn i'm tired! VERY!

~nErD~

2006-08-08T10:06:00.000-07:00

1am, 9th August 2006 ( Godsis Pris Bdae! )

NATASHA! this paragraph is dedicated to you! and you only! that's why it's PINK!
PINK HERE THERE EVERYWHERE! This girl says this blog very emo! i read it all over again and nothign makes me sad or wanna cry! neither does anythign sound emo! LOL! then after she said it, she went offline! so cool right? must BOX her someday! (eh, cannot leh? nv see her b4) haas! stay longer online! grins~!

i jus sent my darling VALERIE to indonesia! how i loved getting thrashed by her. ( we were playing tanks. ) i got like $-80,000 while she has $200,000. cheater i said! then the whole mac's ( T2 macs ) started looking! guess it was kinda loud! She'll be coming back on the 13th of August! (pankster yiling's bdae!) after that we'll like try to catch up alot i supposed! I LOVE CHANGI!

you wouldnt believe this! after changi we took a detour to geylang for some supper! OMG! there's this girl! ( ok actually a guy! you can see it from the thighs, shoulders all! ) he either cross dress if not he is trans! but yea! get the point? while the car was moving slowly pass GEYLANG LORONG 16! he wasn't wearing a skirt, pants. it was see thru stockings! He has a butt like JLO! it was weird jus looking at him then it came, this sudden taste of ****! he started adjusting his G STRING!!!! enuff said! CASE CLOSED! i'm still a guy!

i was asked! ' eh, why ya blog very colourful de? ' hmmm, if there is colours it means i'm happy! who would wanna be sad? if there is every an entry i put in black. it must be fr a reason! yes? otherwise, it's colourful! yea yea, alot of rubbish some might say but it's my blog what? right? grins~! today will be a good day! i know! cos it's national day too! holiday! but gonna do so many stuff! but it's ok! what i enjoy i do! laughs~!

YOU SHOULD BE BACKED FROM THAT DATE ALREADY. AND YOU HAVEN CALLED ME! LAUGHS~! TIRED I SUPPOSED! WILL SEE YOU TMR FOR MACS! YES! KEEP THOSE JEANS TIGHT! LAUGHS~!

~nErD~

2006-08-07T08:26:00.000-07:00

i woke up someday jus to find this isn't goodbye!
i know i have tried, to hold you so tightly i've tried, to make sure it works. how tired i've been, to know you all these years yet didnt say hi. it didnt turn right. didnt have the courage to say how i feel, it sure was wasted. to know but cant get near you the time that i tried.

i jus regretted that i cant see you in that dress, that bright white dress. veins of blood begin to show on my cheeks but i know you wouldnt care cos you asked me ' WHO ARE YOU? '

ah bi, can you like edit that? it seems so how do i put it? tasteless! i'll give you a copy of my edited wan! snores~! it's next month. keep it up SILLIES! hahaz! like boss like that eh? lol! i did the ads le. go watch!

~NeRd~

2006-08-07T02:16:00.000-07:00

5pm 7th August 2006

Am at the tuition house trying to get some and give some tuition. Jus got back from something i have least expected but yes! wanted to confess but couldn't bring it out. damn it was bad. but bad in a good way. i reali dunno what am i aiming at! pouts~!

DOTA, game that requires thinking skills and team work. i'm reali improving in my 5v5 games but deproving in 1v1's alot. i jus got thrashed but a noob 1v1! how can it be possible when i owned in 5v5! snores~! ZEUS is currently now my favorite hero. it rocks to the max! spamming C, G, C, C, G, W, C! the sure kill one hero move! go figure!

NARUTO! bloody hell, it started off reali nice.. now towards the ending, it's like shit! as in reali shit!! but still it keeps me yearning for more! and more! hahaz!

now to plan the most wonderful date for her. laughs~! i might not be good but yes! i tried.

ok first, meet him. (be least 15mins late, tell him to wait, dun make it a routine though). go to place with good food music and atmosphere. (no hawker center please, he's taking you on a date! but good doesnt mean expensive too!) watch a romantic movie (stay away from those cry cry wan! or those mushy mushy types. it's weird. instead go for like action romantica comedy. if there is). then go walk walk at the beach. (it's lovely trust me) then star glazing ( read up on stars and amaze him) after that ask him to send you home. give him a peck on the cheek! and tell him how much fun you had! it motivates him to go out more with you! laughs~!

TADA! eh, call me after you read this! i'm pretty sure he doesnt know me! he'll fall all in love with me and turn gay! laughs~! I dunno what he sees in you! GRINS~! dun beat me! hahaz! i know kung fu!!

gonna have my tuition soon i so guess!!

I LOVE YOU BABE! LOVE ME TOO! hahaha!

2006-08-06T20:04:00.000-07:00

8am, 7th August 2006

hey mom there's something in my backroom! hope it's not the creatures from above! yea right! this song stucked in my head cos this RAYMOND say it in the taxi! hahaz! Take a look at my project!

___________________________________________________________________________

i woke up someday jus to find, this isn't goodbye! i know i have tried, to hold you so tightly, i tried to make sure it works! how tired i've been, to know you all these year yet didnt say hi! it didnt turned right! i make sure my life was in yours and yours was in mine! i wasnt the one, to see you in that dress, that bright white dress! you're so beautiful. veins of rushing blood ran thru to my cheeks. i wasnt that shy. but when you said i know you. you were that guy, that didnt say hi. i went feeling sick i regretted the choice. then i said goodbye!

___________________________________________________________________________

that was some part of our group's life story song. damn i was shocked that it came out this way. the guys all very supportive and the girls, wow! i nv seen this sight for them. the crave to write out the perfect song was there but no one has ambitions. even me. it started like jus laugh lagh laugh then someone was serious then two then it soon follows. now we even sing it like it's the new pop song. we're going TP to sing it. not sure if it's in front of everyone but YES! imagine our shockingness! maybe one day we'll come out with a CD! grins! NOT! hahaha! btw we named our group, ' GROUP ' how annoying right?

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, LET'S WELCOME 'GROUP' ON STAGE!

get the idea? hahahaz! it's like naming your dog ' DOG '. hey dog, fetch! dog sit! OMG! i'm mad. hahahahaz! I'm going to meet her later:) i reali dunno what's installed for me! my left brain was thinking of what we can do, my right brain was saying 'DUN GO!' " hey right brain, dun exist please! you know how hard to actually get this person to go out?"

outing with friends on the 9th. where? what time? night? snores~! that's my friends. i sense a birthday celebration. what do you expect from a soon to be 19 boy? sorry Becs but yea. hahhaz! are you all gettting me that electric guitar? that special wan? i dun want the heart shaped wan.. wont use it. haha!

enuff of myself! laughs~! dun wanna talk abt otehrs too! but i cant resist it! reali i cant! hahhahahaz!

I CANT WAIT TO MEET UP WITH CHARLES SHABS AND SHEILA ON THE 19TH!

why? dunno? they were the closest to me. of cos i'll nv forget the servers but yes! i'll nv forget this three too! i think we go a very long way! back and forth. let's see! their pictures are on top! love them! hahaz! cant seem to find charles picture though. WILL TAKE ONE! hahaz!

~NeRd~

2006-08-06T06:31:00.000-07:00

8pm 6th of August 2006

Natasha(ur name happened to be pink cos you told me you liked it)says my blog is lame! This is even called a blog? OMG! hahahaz! dun worry girl! that is all! laughs~!

Today was the funeral of my Grand Uncle! Yes Grand Uncle! Fr JJ was the presider and he gave a good homily! We have all lived a life of hope! but death is our only way to be with jesus forever! though to many ppl it seems to be a holocaust. The most annoying thin is that i didnt know my grand uncle well. it seems that a year once visit only adds to the agony. what can i do? NOTHING! but i'll try!

Go figure! lost my sim card somewhere in woodlands! so if anyone finds, please tell me! i'm very sad! All this happened because i dedcided to lend raymond the phone. hahaha! bought new cover all too. thks to liverpool! (sorry liverpool fans but that 5-0 result won me 4oo dollars). betted on my favorite 5 goals and liverpool to lose. i was smiling like mad! hahahaz!

I named my church friend HINATA(after a naruto episodes character)look at her hair style and all. definately suits too the max! LOL!

i'm going to rush my maths! so much to catch up. so lil time. so yea. hopefully i'll pull thru. something i always try hard to!

TO WHOEVER IS THINKING BOUT ME RIGHT NOW! I REALI DUN HAV THE TIME BUT AFTER WHAT YOU SAID, YOU CROSSED MY MIND THAT OFTEN! :)
NeRd

2006-08-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

Some ppl have been so annoying! but it's definately not them! once a server always a server! i nv know what to do without those few in my life. haha! brothers you call, brothers you name. i nv believed in this but you shown me what brothers are for if not to share troubles.

i dedicate this entry to RAYMOND, JOEL, SAMUEL, DOMINICK. even when it might seemed i strayed you pulled me back. all the times i nearly lose my temper you hold me back. not forgetting the encouragements you gave while i was standing in between quitting and staying. you guys are my life! ~NeRd~

2006-08-04T12:09:00.001-07:00

3am, 5th August 2006, sofa

this sucks! creating a new blog altoogether again? oh man! i forget all the html and stuff le. still managed to pull thru. i'm tired and sleepy. watching naruto movie. wait an hour. better be worth it. soccer trainign later. oh well, signing out!!

Nerd