so... i jus had a mental breakdown.. i cried... my whole heart out.. sobbing out a river... to the extent that my parents can hear me...
i intend to pick myself from this.. shoot me for having no faith.. curse me for being insensitive.. i jus cant see myself fufilling potentials seen in others.. for the one time.. i cant see myself commanding the youth.. i cant see myself doing anything ppl expect me.. my parents, FATHER, the youths, uncle kenny.. even i have doubts in my servers..
as i go along.. encouragements come and go.. prayers drive me thru.. but what am i seeking? what if i fail? what if i make you lose faith in me.. what if i jus go?
i see encouragements.. ppl telling me, 'you can do it' are you helping me to do it? or are you jus plainly saying? i see encourage in little things.. ppl pushing themselves to work.. my sister doing her best to sleep early and wake up early.. raymond for being early for once.. i try to give myself the same thing.. failing too much...
mayb i cant handle the pressure.. or mayb i jus suck.. but i'm not gaining your pity trust me.. i need your prayers...